Playing with Existence
by Daughter moon
Summary: SSHP Slash, Character death, It is the summer after 5th year and Harry Potter is staying at Grimmauld Place. With too much time to think about the past events, he comes up with a plan. But playing with existence can have serious consequences.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter. This disclaimer stands for all following chapters.  
**Beta:** Seraphina Snape  
**Notes:** This fic has been rewritten after advise from the hpconcrit community on Thank you for your patience, both with the long wait before the change, and with any confusion on chapters as I upload the rewrites, as I can not upload all new chapters at once. If you wish to read the fic before it's changes, it can be found on my LiveJournal. Thank you.

Prologue

Time is complicated. These complications differ depending on the length of time being dealt with. In a few hours, few things can happen to any one person, so the consequences may appear before the time stream rights itself. Days or years, however, are extremely complicated. The consequences of ever action makes a change, and many days or months of changes are impossible to predict. For this reason, long-term changes are never visible until the end of the quest. There is therefore no guarantee of safety or success when dealing with long-term time, as the consequences are not yet visible as they are with mere hours of change.

**The Philosophy of Time, by Fortuna Chance**


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_I am sorry to inform you that the department of magical devices and artefacts are unable to provide you with a time turner at this present time. This is in accordance with the restriction for underage wizardry, as well as our own strict guidelines regarding the use of time turners._

_Many apologies,_

S. Cogsworth 

_Ms. Sarah Cogsworth_

_Head of the Department of Magical Devices and Artefacts. _

Harry slammed the yellowed parchment down onto the wooden table of 12 Grimmauld Place, causing the rickety surface to shake, and sending the official – looking eagle owl back out the window with an indignant screech. Harry glared resentfully after the offending bird and stormed in the direction of his room, passing Lupin on the way out.

"Is he all right?" Lupin asked worriedly.

"Just normal adolescent angst," Tonks offered from her place by the fire. "He'll be over it in no time."

"I don't know," Lupin replied. "He's been so moody lately, and he's spending so much time in his room. It isn't healthy."

"Ah, don't worry so much, Remus," said Tonks kindly, tripping over the footrest as she stood up. "He'll be fine when the other kids arrive. When are the Weasley's coming? They're staying for the end of the summer again, aren't they? So the order meetings are easier to organise."

"Two more weeks," replied Lupin "When will Dumbledore be here? Bill should be arriving tomorrow morning to give his report."

"I'll check the letter…"

sshpss

Remus' voice drifted away as Harry climbed the staircase to his room. They were talking about him. Again. Saying they were worried about him, when they really only cared about the saviour they all expected. At least Sirius had never talked behind his back. Sirius had told him everything, but Sirius wasn't here.

Harry felt his anger drift and slip away like red smoke on a windy day. He had tried. After Sirius death Harry had found himself thinking back on their time together, and remembered the time turner. If it worked on a few hours, why not a few days or weeks, or even years? He could stop Voldemort back then, before he came to full power! But he needed a time turner, and that is exactly what he was missing: a way to reverse the years.

Perhaps Dumbledore could help. Harry hated that the man kept so much from him, but he had to admit the Headmaster had power. With that thought, Harry lay down on his Gryffindor-red bed.

Sirius had decorated this room with him. Last Christmas, when he was still happy and Sirius had sung 'God rest ye Merry Hippogriffs'. Harry tossed in the too-warm bed, cursing it's creaky springs and all the memories that were painted across the yellow walls.

Last year Harry had come here after a normal summer, instead of after a summer in which simple hard work couldn't erase the churning thoughts and memories and "what if"s. A summer in which Harry had found the perfect plan, only to have it pronounced a failure like every potion he had ever handed in. A failure like the belief that Wormtail would keep to the rules and fulfil the Wizards Pact formed in the Shreiking Shack, instead of acting the coward and taking Harry's blood for his master. A failure like himself.

sshpss

The thoughts swirled on inside Harry's end, an endless pensive of guilt, and the night failed to cloak his thoughts. When the blackness is the enemy, and the light can provide no comfort, there will never be relief.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Early the next morning, Harry roused himself from his bed. Sleep had not come that night. He lifted his hand in an automatic gesture to rub his scar, making his hair more dishevelled than even a restless night could, and moved to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, praying there was still warm water left in the ancient, overused pipes. Harry yelped as freezing water poured down over his head. Glaring at the offending faucet, he grabbed his wand from its place on a pile of clean clothes outside the shower, with every intention of casting a warming charm. This was a skill honed by every student at Hogwarts, sharing dorm showers on a first-come first-wet basis. Unfortunately, Harry would not receive warm water this morning. A glance at the clock over the mirror, which read 'Time to get in trouble', reminded him that it was the summer holidays and the use of magic was still restricted. Three more weeks, and he'd be back in Gryffindor Tower, with fewer uncomfortable memories, friends and magically-enhanced warm water. Grumbling, Harry stepped out of the shower and towelled off, casting an exasperated glance at the mirror, which was chuckling good-naturedly at the no-longer sleepy boy.

sshpss

Coming downstairs, Harry paused at the door to the kitchen. More Order members had apparently arrived this morning. Harry hated the early-morning meetings. They meant being shoved out of the kitchen halfway through breakfast, only to come back later and find there was no toast left. He surveyed the room. Lupin, studying a copy of The Daily Prophet over a cup of tea; Tonks, who appeared to have broken two plates and trodden on McGonagall's tail already this morning, and McGonagall herself, who sat in a corner of the room, licking the offended tail. She spent most of her time in Grimmauld Place as a cat, finding it easier to keep out of the way in her smaller, feline form. Kingsley was removing his cloak, toast in one hand, waiting for the kettle to boil. Bill Weasley turned towards Harry with a smile as he entered.

"Morning, Harry! Toast?"

Harry accepted the plate with a tight smile of thanks and sat down next to Lupin who smiled at him before turning back to his paper.

"When did you get here?" he asked Bill through a mouthful of crumbs. "Why didn't you go home?"

"Why bother unpacking twice? The rest arrive today, so…" Bill shrugged. "Didn't see much point."

Harry nodded in understanding, then turned back to Remus. "When's Dumbledore getting here?"

"**Professor** Dumbledore, Harry." McGonagall transfigured back and took a seat opposite Remus, who politely offered her some tea.

"No thank-you. Professor Dumbledore will be arriving shortly for the Order meeting, Mr. Potter. Why?"

"Nothing. I just have a question. That's all."

"Anything I can help with?" Remus asked, folding the paper.

"No, it's fine. I'd just like to talk to Dumbledore, that's all." Remus just nodded and got up to wash his mug at the large sink in the corner.

sshpss

There was a sudden flare of green light and Dumbledore stepped out of the hearth, purple polka-dotted robes swirling around his feet.

"Good morning everyone, how are you all?" There was a chorus of "Good"s and "Can't complain"s from the kitchen. Dumbledore sat down beside Harry.

"Harry, dear boy. How are you this fine day?"

"All right, sir. How are you?"

"Just splendid." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he pulled several rolls of parchment from his voluminous robes. A silvery red seal showing a phoenix surrounded by flames held each scroll closed. Harry looked interestedly at the parchment before he was ushered out of the kitchen by Tonks. Harry hurridly grabbed the remaining toast and paused at the door, calling back

"Professor?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Can I talk to you before you leave?"

"Of course. I will find you when we are done."

Harry, satisfied, headed to the library, where he spent twenty minutes just locating the section on time travel. It never hurt to know what you were dealing with.

sshpss

About two hours later, a knock on the door jolted him from his perusal of Time Travel: When, Where and How?. Shutting the heavy book, Harry called "Come in" to the door and moved to replace the book. When he came back, he found Dumbledore seated comfortably in front of the fire.

"So, my boy," Dumbledore began, twinkle brightening in his eyes, "what did you wish to speak with me about?"

Harry took a deep breath and plunged right in. "Um, I want to bring Sirius back," he said, seeing Dumbledore's eyes fill with pity. "By using a time turner to go back and stop him coming to find me."

Dumbledore's expression shifted to startled. "I am afraid only the Ministry can issue time turners, and even then it is not a safe option, Harry."

"But, Professor, I could even go back and stop Voldemort from killing my parents. I could warn them, or stop Voldemort, or--"

"Do you think we have not considered this before? I believe I told you once that time is so diverse already that we could not possibly predict the effects of going back?"

"But in third year?"

"Harry! Don't you understand? Meddling with time can be very dangerous, and even before Voldemort came to full power he was difficult to defeat. The whole order and Ministry together could not stop him. You are not fully trained yet. It is simply too dangerous. You could cause permament damage. Voldemort could end up being twice as powerful. Grindlewald was not defeated with time turners. We will fight – and win – this battle in the same manner."

Harry listened to him, mouth falling open.

"You didn't defeat Voldemort the first time. I did. Without any of you. Who's to say I can't do it again by myself. What is the point of having time turners if we can't use them?"

"What is the point of tobacco, Harry? What is the point of poisons or knives or killing curses? The point is that existence does not force us to use them!"

Harry trembled with anger. Force? What did Dumbledore know about being forced? He was always the one to force others. He forced Sirius to live here. He forced Harry to remain in the dark about himself. He forced the students to feel guilty even when there was nothing to feel guilty about. Like Sirius – he was perfectly justified in hating Snape, but what did Dumbledore do? Force them to co-operate. Force? He didn't understand.

"You don't understand!" Harry screamed at Dumbledore. "You don't understand anything. Not about Sirius, not about Voldemort and not about me! Why should you even care if I go back. It's my life."

"I'm sorry, Harry." Dumbledore looked sadly at Harry but, lost in rage, Harry didn't even notice. "I can't help you."

Harry dimly heard Dumbledore leaving, the door swinging softly shut behind him. He gave a scream of angry denial and his magic lashed out, sending paper swirling in stormy clouds around his head. This battle was lost, but Harry's war was far from over.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns Harry Potter

Chapter 3

Harry was in the library again when Ron arrived with Hermione and five siblings in tow. Percy was apparently still stewing over the events of Harry's fifth year.

"Harry!" Ginny cried, bouncing over to him.

"Hi, Ginny," Harry replied. "How are you?"

"I'm great! Mum says I can't join the Order meeting until I leave school though. And she expects me to go through NEWTs too - the war'll be over by then."

"I should certainly hope so," said Charlie, coming up behind her. "How are you doing Harry?"

"All right, thanks. How's Norbet?"

"Doing very well. You can tell Hagrid not to worry. He's got a mate now, y'know. Beautiful animal. He's quite happy with her."

"Not as happy as you are with Delacour though, eh, Charlie?" One of the twins – Harry thought it was probably George – grinned as he joined the small group. A dull flush travelled up Charlie's neck until the tips of his ears were stained bright red.

"Ah yes, the great Weasley/Delacour romance of 1997. Any bets, Harry? Ginny has 5 galleons on the fire burning out by Christmas." Harry craned his neck round to see Fred hovering beside his brother.

"Harry, you've got to see this!" Ron shoved his brothers to one side in order to throw himself onto the floor and shove a violently orange scrap of fabric under Harry's nose.

"What is it?"

"I went to see the Cannons play last week. The entire team signed my banner!"

"Wow."

"Come on, guys," Ginny said. "They're going to be talking about it for hours now."

The Weasleys wandered off to look at the ancient tomes and Hermione settled herself on Harry's other side, taking note of the large book in front of him.

"Harry! Revising already? That's wonderful. I keep telling Ron but…"

Harry marked his place in the ancient book and stopped the flow of words with a single simple sentence.

"It's not revision."

Hermione looked crestfallen. "Oh."

"I'm researching time travel. I want to go back and defeat Voldemort before he finishes the immortality rituals. I've been trained, I know what to do. And anyway," he said, taking a deep breath, "I might get to keep Mum and Dad and Sirius this way."

Ron and Hermione looked at each other. "Oh Harry, I really don't think this is a good idea." Hermione looked quite flustered. "Remember what Dumbledore said in third year – the consequences of time travel can be terrible. And we don't even know anything about your parent's timeline. There could be huge problems we don't even know about. The only person we could ask is Professor Lupin and he's an Order member. No, Harry, I think we should look for something else – there must be _something_."

"Hermione, I've looked everywhere. I haven't just sat here the past three weeks, you know. I've searched every book in here. I've written to the ministery. I've asked Dumbledore-"

"Wait a minute," Ron interupted. "You've already asked Dumbledore?"

"Yeah, he said the same as you, Hermione."

"Well, that's all the more reason not to do it," Hermione stated firmly.

"You've looked at everything else?" Ron asked.

"Everything," Harry replied gloomily.

Ron took a deep breath. "Well then, I think you should do it. If you think this is the right thing to do. And you _could_ meet your family. If you're sure, then I'm behind you."

Harry smiled for the first time in days.

"Thanks, Ron." They both looked expectantly at Hermione. She huffed a little then relented.

"Fine, but only to make sure that the two of you don't mess things up and kill yourselves by accident." Harry grinned broadly.

sshpss

Hermione suddenly became businesslike.

"Well, I hope you understand how time travel can have–"

"-Very serious repercussions," Harry finished for her. "I know. I just need to find a way to go back first. Then I can worry about the consequences."

"Right then. Come on, Ron, there must be some books on time magic here somewhere." Harry heard a faint groan as Ron was dragged into the seemingly endless lengths of bookshelves and suppressed a grin. Things would be back to normal in no time.

sshpss

Before long, the three teenagers were huddled together in front of the fire, piles of books spread out before them; _The Philosophy of Time_, _Beyond the Twentieth Century_, and _Time can be your Friend_ were all texts that proved to be as useless as they were boring. Ginny and her brothers had long since left in search of food and info on the now-over Order meeting.

"How about this?" asked Ron through a yawn. He pointed at a passage in his book. Harry and Hermione moved to see it better.

_Time travel is a delicate art, yet has been studied for many centuries past. The most common magic involved in the process of time manipulation is the time turner, which incorporates the Tempus Reverti spell and the Tempus Peragro potion. These spells are, however, banned to the public unless in the presence of a Ministery official, as time manipulation can have_

"Very serious consequences," Harry sighed.

The paragraph was followed by a list of references. Hermione grew very excited.

"This is exactly what we need! I'll go find those books." She rushed off into the depths of the library, returning quickly with two books; _Intermediate Object Bewitchment_ and _Moste Potente Potions_. Harry stared. How had she found those? The filing system of Grimmauld Library was non-existent. Opening the first book to the referenced page, Hermione looked over it quickly.

"The spell is simple enough, but has to be cast on the object for repeated use. It is useless without the potion." Flipping open the potions book, she winced as it fell open to the Polyjuice Potion. It wasn't pleasant being part cat. Turning quickly past it, she stopped on the Tempus Peragro potion.

"This is very complicated," she informed them.

"Ouch. I can't even _imagine_ trying to brew that," Ron said, looking over her shoulder. Harry looked over her other side.

"Can you do it?"

"I think so. It has the same base as the de-aging potion we'll be making this year. It's on page 23 of the new potions textbook."

Ron gaped at her. "You've bought your books already?"

"Of course. I get the text list for our major subjects when we leave at the end of the year now. It gives me more time to plan studying for next year."

Harry shrugged at Ron, who was staring at Hermione as if she'd grown another head.

"We can brew the potion here and cast the spell at Hogwarts when magic is legal again. We'll have to get some of the ingredients at Diagon Alley though. Can we go any time soon?"

"I'm not allowed to leave Grimmauld Place until I have to get my books. There's no-one free long enough until then." Harry grudgingly told them.

"Me and Hermione-"

"Hermione and I," Hermione interupted automatically.

"-Are going to Diagon Alley the day after tomorrow. I've completely run out of parchment, and we haven't got our book lists yet. We'll not be gone long, but we should be able to get what we need," continued Ron. "What do we need? It's a good job we can't make it yet. You'd be in the wrong time frame anyway if you went back now," added Ron.

"Don't be silly Ron," scolded Hermione. "The potion takes at least a week to brew. He couldn't go now even if we had everything." Completely ignoring the looks of complete and utter confusion of the faces of her friends, Hermione gathered the books and stood up.

"Well? What are you waiting for? We need to make a list, and find out what we have already, and plan a rota for the potion preperation. Let's get a move on."

sshpss

Three days later, Harry, Ron and Hermione sat together in an abandoned room in the East Wing of Grimmauld Place to go over the plan once more. The ingredients had not been cheap, but Harry figured it was worth it to get his family back.

"Now, this potion will need twenty-four hour care, so we'll have to take shifts. I'll keep an eye on it for the first four hours, since it's most sensitive at that point, then Ron can take over. Harry, you can come back in eight hours – you have the afternoon shift I'm afraid, so you'll miss lunch."

"Won't someone notice we're missing meals?" Ron butted in.

"Harry misses quite a few meals anyway, and I'm going to say I'm sick for the next couple of days. It'll be alright by itself after the third day. It's basically just a sequence of ingredients – I'll be here all the times it gets complicated."

"Okay," Harry nodded in agreement. Ron hesitated only a moment before voicing his approval, too. Setting up her collapsible cauldron, Hermione cleared a space on the shelves around the room for the ingredients.

"I'll get started then. You two might as well go play Quidditch or something. I'll see you in four hours, Ron." Then she turned back to the cauldron and began emptying bottles into it, stirring steadily counter-clockwise. Not seeing much else to do, the boys left.

sshpss

Eight hours later, Harry sat before the cauldron, watching it bubble ominously. After Ron had added the caterpillar heads at precisely 12.15, the potion had turned into a sort of sticky green sludge. Checking his watch, Harry stood to reach for the jar of Phoenix feathers. As he picked it up, his elbow brushed an empty jar. It fell into the couldron with a small splash, splattering Harry's arm with thick red liquid. Harry turned, cursing and hastily added the Phoenix Feathers before fishing around for the jar with a long silver ladle. Finally scoping it out, he placed it back on the shelf and headed to the bathroom to wash off the blood-like substance. Scrubbing at his arm, Harry was annoyed to find that it wouldn't come off. Glancing at the clock, Harry gave up and headed back to the cauldron to add the ground beatles. When he handed over the potion to Hermione two hours later, the strange red liquid was gone.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter characters, objects and places

**Beta** Seraphina Snape

Chapter 4

It was a further week before Hermione finally declared that the potion should be left to simmer for 24 hours, giving them a whole day to do what they liked together. The arrival of their text lists from Hogwarts at breakfast that morning made the decision for them – they were going to Diagon Alley. After several weeks locked in a musty old house, Harry was more than happy to comply. Hermione joined them; despite already having all her schoolbooks, she was also ready for some fresh air. Professor Lupin accompanied them as far as Flourish and Blotts, at which point he got distracted by a new range of Dark Arts books. Ron, Hermione and Harry split up to find their textbooks. Harry wondered around, picking up the various books as he went, until he found the last one: _Sensing the Supernatural by Selwyn Skys_. As his fingers brushed the spine, Harry felt a sudden tingle run through him. The world started to spin, and Harry's world narrowed down to the book clutched in his hand. Then he thought no more. Behind the bookcase, a lone voice called out.

"Harry?"

sshpss

Slowly coming to, Harry sat up, the divination book clutched in one hand. The basket of sixth year books was gone. Harry grumbled slightly: it had taken him ages to find all those! Then it dawned on him that if the basket was gone, someone must have come past. Why didn't anyone help him? You didn't see someone lying on the floor and just walk past them! Deciding to solve that particular problem later, Harry retraced his steps to find his books again. They weren't there. The shelf that Harry had been so sure held _Continuing Charms by Sheila Severns_ now held copy after copy of_Household Bewitchment for the Busy Witch_. Giving up, Harry went to find Ron and Hermione. Wandering around the huge shop, and finding nothing, he called out for Professor Lupin, hoping that he was still somewhere close by.

"Professor? Professor Lupin?"

"I always know Moony would become a professor one day," came a voice behind him. Harry's mouth dropped open. Spinning around, he came face to face with the last person he expected to see.

"Sirius?"

"Why so surprised, Jamie? I'm the one that should be surprised: aren't you supposed to be in Jersey? And why are you calling Remus Professor? He has a few years to go yet, don't you think?" Harry's mouth was still scraping the floor. Before him stood black-haired, grey-eyed, 17-year old Sirius Black in all his pre-Azkaban glory. It was an amazing difference. Harry wouldn't have recognised him but for the 'Moony' comment. Sirius was starting to look concerned.

"James? Earth to James?"

"I'm not James." Harry blurted out.

Sirius grinned. "And I'm not Sirius. I'm Peter. Peter Pettigrew. How do you do?"

"No really. I'm not James!"

"Sure you're not. So why are you here?"

Harry was starting to get frustrated. "Look," he snapped. "I'm not James. See, I have-" Harry froze just before lifting his fringe to show his scar. If all didn't go well, this was probably not the best idea. "Green eyes," he continued.

"Oh, yeah." Sirius said, after stepping forward to inspect his eyes. "You look an awful lot like him though. You a cousin or something?"

"Yeah. Yeah, my name is, um… Neville."

"Neville?"

"Yeah. Neville Potter."

Sirius held out his hand. "Nice to meet you."

Harry smiled. "Same here."

"So where've you been all this time?" Sirius asked around a Fortescue ice cream. "I've never seen you at Hogwarts, and James never mentioned you."

"I… don't think he knows about me. Our parents weren't very close. Estranged, y'know." A dark look crossed Sirius' face.

"Yeah, I know. So, why are you here now?"

"I used to travel around a lot. Now we've settled down a bit I can come to Hogwarts. At least, I can if Dumbledore lets me."

"Oh, he'll be fine. Lets anyone in. Have you written to him yet?"

"No. I don't actually have anywhere to stay at the minute. My parents said to stay at the Leaky Cauldron, but I don't think I can afford it at the minute. I might have to go back to Gringotts."

"You can stay with me," Sirius proclaimed, looking very pleased about it. "I have an owl, so you can contact Dumbledore, and there's plenty of space…. I was going to go stay with Jamie in the last couple of weeks of the hols, but I'm sure you can come too. Family and all that." Harry grinned back at him.

"Yes. I'd like that."

Flooing into Grimmauld Place with Sirius was not a pleasant experience. For one thing, the floo didn't like him any better in this time frame than the last, and for another they met a nasty surprise as they came in.

"Well, well, look what the Kneazle dragged in."

sshpss

"Snape," Sirius snarled, while Harry just stood gaping beside him. "What are you doing here? You were meant to leave hours ago."

"Typical Gryffindor arrogance," drawled Snape. "I do not leave simply because you will it."

"Well, why are you still here then? It's not like I'd spend time with you."

"I was merely reacquainting myself with the rest of your lovely family." Snape stepped aside to reveal a boy as pale and dark-haired as himself. He bore a striking resemblance to Sirius, though thinner and younger-looking.

"You know what mother said, Sirius," said the boy with a nasty smirk. Harry cringed as he suddenly envisioned a skinnier, black-haired Dudley before him.

"Get to know Severus," he continued, unaware of their unwilling spectator, "become a good Black. Though I suppose you ruined your chances of a family when you became a I Gryffindor /I , didn't you? You could never do anything right – not even get Sorted."

"I will never be a Slytherin!" Sirius snapped. "Get out of my way, Regulus."

"Temper, temper." The boy, Regulus, sniggered. "Well, I suppose I should stay out of your way. Wouldn't want to catch any nasty Gryffindor traits, would I? Imagine it – a Black wearing that awful red! Come on, Severus."

sshpss

Only Harry, hanging back slightly, noticed the look of intense dislike that crossed Snape's face as he answered, "I'm sorry, Regulus. I need to get home. I have a time-sensitive potion brewing."

"Fine," Sirius snapped from the counter. "You aren't welcome here." Snape left with a swish of his dark robes. His pale hand brushed Harry's side as he passed and Harry moved aside to let him through. Snape did not stop.

sshpss

Activating his Portkey at the edge of the Black property, Snape slumped against the wall with a soft shudder. Time with Regulus was never pleasant, even less so now that the duty was forced upon him by overzealous parents who wanted to make 'the right connections'. And now there was a new enemy to take into account. The small, pale boy hovering at Black's side. How long would it be before a new 'friend' joined the others in tormenting him? How long before it was too much?

sshpss

Back at Grimmauld Place, Harry sat with Sirius, who offered to show Harry his owl. Harry happily accepted. Sirius led the way up to the attic, where a small, snowy owl sat peacefully in the rafters. Sirius whistled and held out his arm for the bird.

"This is Danica," he told Harry proudly.

Harry reached out to stroke her feathers. "She's beautiful." 'Just like Hedwig.' Danica preened and nipped lightly at his fingers. Harry smiled at the familiar gesture. "So I can borrow her?"

"Yep. I can't write so much this holiday, 'cos James and Peter are both on holiday and it's the full mo- full two weeks before we go back to Hogwarts. It'll be nice to have someone to talk to."

hpsshp

Harry nodded and pulled some parchment and a quill from his robe pockets. Scribbling a quick note to Dumbledore, asking to meet him, Harry set Danica free. Watching the bird soar away through the clouds, Harry wondered if he'd really be accepted into Hogwarts. After all, he'd never heard of a late starter at Hogwarts. Students began in 1st year and ended in 7th. That's the way it had always been. Sirius led him back downstairs, asking more questions and muttering about Regulus, or as he put it, "That bloody pure-blood purist". They didn't sleep until late that night.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter.

Chapter 5

Early the next morning, confined to Sirius' room to avoid the other Blacks, and awaiting the promised delivery of toast, Harry received an owl. The yellow parchment was covered in elaborate, overly-enthusiastic loops that Harry could just identify as writing.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_Upon receiving your letter I have come to the conclusion that it would be best to meet before you enter Hogwarts, taking into account the recent attacks. Would you consent to meet me at 12:45pm on 19th August at the Leaky Cauldron? I await your answer by return owl. _

Harry scribbled a quick reply, which the owl accepted, just as Sirius came back into the room.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Owl from Dumbledore," Harry managed through the toast. He swallowed with some difficulty and continued. "What date is it?"

"19th August."

Harry choked. "Today?" He sent a panicked look towards the clock and leapt to his feet.

"I've got to get back to London! I'll see you on the train – I hope." And with those parting words, Harry rushed to the nearest fireplace, vanishing in a whoosh of green flame. Stumbling out of the grate, Harry reflected that floo trips were just as nausiating in the past, if not more so. The floo system had apparently improved over the years. Shaking ash out of his hair, Harry wandered over to the bar, where Tom the barman was pouring something purple with green lumps into a glass.

"Excuse me?" Harry asked.

"Yes?" Tom asked around a beer glass almost twice as big as himself.

"I'm looking for Dumbledore. Is he here?"

"Harry Potter," Tom said, matter of fact. Harry was suddenly reminded of his first trip to the Leaky Cauldron, when Tom had excalimed, "Harry Potter!" and shook his hand. Harry fazed back in to discover he'd missed half of Tom's sentence.

"Upstairs. Room 13."

Harry thanked him and climbed the stairs to the second floor, where room 13 lay at the end of the corridor. Harry cast a nostalgic look at room 11 as he passed, remembering the years he had stayed there after accidents with the Dursleys or accidental magic. He knocked gently on the door and gave it a push. Dumbledore appeared in the crack.

"Harry Potter?"

"Yes."

"Welcome, welcome. Make yourself comfortable." Dumbledore pulled the door wide open and drew a paper bag from a pocket in his voluminous orange robes.

"Lemon drop?"

"No, thank-you." Dumbledore settled himself in a huge purple armchair and smiled at Harry.

"So, Harry, why do you wish to come to Hogwarts? I must say I was surprised to receive your letter. Hogwarts students usually appear on the list as soon as they are born. We've never had a student appear this late before, let alone have to _write_ to request entrance." Harry picked up the pumpkin juice which had appeared in front of him.

"Well, I had a slight… accident with a time spell. It wasn't supposed to activate this early, but since I'm here I might as well try to do what I set out to do. I don't know if I'll ever have a chance again." Dumbledore stared at him over his thin golden spectacles.

"I see. And this task – it involves a student? A professor?"

"I can't tell you."

"I understand. Time travel is a dangerous thing. Is there anything else you can tell me? Do you have a way to get back?"

"No." Dumbledore stared hard at him for a moment.

"You are not lying. You may attend Hogwarts this year. I will try to aquire a timeturner to send you home. Try not to change anything drastic." Harry looked at the floor.

"Yes, sir."

"Good." Dumbledore reached again into the huge pockets of his robe and drew out an envelope.

"Your ticket and text list. Do you have the money? I assume you know how to get to Hogwarts?" It suddenly occurred to Harry that in this time there would be no Potter vault at Gringotts. He was completely penniless.

"Yes, sir. But I don't have any money."

"Here." Dumbledore handed him a small pouch. "Buy the books for your chosen subjects and we'll sort out the details when you arrive. Good day to you."

"Good day, sir."

Dumbledore vanished through the door.

Harry looked down at the letter in his hand and sighed. This would take a while.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter.

Chapter 6

Diagon Alley was teeming with students when Harry eventually got through the wall. Thankfully, Harry had his wand with him when he completed his journey through time. However, he had nothing else.

He visited _Flourish and Blotts _for quills, ink, parchment and his new books, _Madame Malkins Robes for All Occasions _supplied robes for his lessons as well as sweaters, trousers, underwear and pyjamas and _Quality Quidditch Supplies _provided several happy hours of broom perusal. Harry was shocked to find that the Nimbus was still unheard of and that the best broom on the market was the much-bemoaned Cleansweep Seven. It was odd to think that the broom the Weasleys spent so much time complaining about was still relatively new, for a broom anyway. In contrast to his eager exploration of the Quidditch equipment, Harry spent the smallest amount of time possible stocking his potions equipment at the Apothecary.

The air was heavy with the scent of herbs and animal parts. Harry found a clump of Wolfsbane on one shelf and wondered if Lupin had ever found shopping in Diagon Alley difficult. There were so many places containing lethal substances for a werewolf: aconite, silver, not to mention the general unfriendliness if word got out of his condition. Harry was glad to be rid of the reeking shop and head back to the Leaky Cauldron. However, as he passed the Magical Menagerie he heard a sudden shriek of surprise.

sshpss

Turning towards the door, Harry saw two red feathers drift out of the door, left ajar by some past customer. Wondering if he should help, Harry opened the door a little further and stepped inside. What he saw inside amazed him: a huge red and gold phoenix wings outstretched as it fought to free itself of the chain tethering it to the large perch. The shopkeeper stood well back, holding a long pole and looking terrified. Catching sight of him, the phoenix strained towards Harry, trying to reach him. Harry walked forward slowly.

"Fawkes?" The phoenix trilled and flapped the last few inches to Harry's shoulder. Harry staggered under the weight, leaning against the wall behind him. The shopkeeper ushered the bird back onto its perch with the pole before walking over to Harry.

"All right there, boy?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Harry said, still winded after Fawkes' untimely landing.

"That bird has never done anything but peck at us since it got here. You're the only one it's been remotely friendly to." He turned back to the phoenix who was still straining against the chain binding it.

"How does it not break free?" asked Harry, remembering a long-ago lesson about the strength of phoenixes.

"Magical chains," said the man. "Listen, the damn thing's caused nothing but trouble. No one will enter the shop for fear of getting scratched. I don't suppose you'd consider taking it off our hands?"

Harry thought about it. If worse came to worst he could always ask the headmaster for help. And a phoenix might be useful. "How much?"

"Twenty galleons. Normally it'd be much more but I've got to get rid of it and kids like you never have much money." Harry looked through his pouch, finding just enough to pay. He handed over the money, reasoning that he probably wouldn't need to buy much else this year anyway.

"Thank-you, lad," murmured the shopkeeper, unchaining Fawkes and waving him out of the door. "Good luck to you."

sshpss

Outside the shop, armed with a perch, bird feed, and several bags and boxes, Harry looked at the phoenix fluttering behind him.

"Well, Fawkes? What are you doing here? Aren't you Dumbledore's?" Fawkes trilled softly. Harry sighed.

"Come on then. Let's get back to the Leaky Cauldron. And you behave yourself – I can't afford to get thrown out!" Finally having everything they needed, bird and boy headed home for another day.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter.

Chapter 7

On 1st September 1977, Harry Potter again boarded the Hogwarts Express. Fawkes was perched on his shoulder, refusing to be caged. They had drawn a few strange glances at King's Cross, and even more on Platform 9¾. Dragging his trunk down the rattling corridor, Harry stopped outside the only compartment that still had the door open. Glancing at the open window, he addressed the phoenix on his shoulder.

"Would you rather fly? It'll be a bit bumpy in the carriage. Hedwig always hated it." Fawkes trilled softly and spread his wings, swooping out of the window. Harry entered the room.

"Neville!" Sirius exclaimed happily, jumping up from his seat.

"Neville?" Remus and James repeated together. Even so much younger, they were easily recognisable. James looked almost suspiciously at Harry. Sirius had never brought a new person into their group before – it had always just been the four of them, the Marauders.

"Yeah, Neville. I met him over the summer. Come sit with us."

Remus moved over obligingly to make room.

"Hello, I'm Remus Lupin." Harry's former (future?) professor held out his hand.

"Neville Potter," Harry said, shaking it.

James hesitated, then held out his own hand. "James Potter."

"Nice to meet you," Harrysaid, taking James' hand.

sshpss

"So, what did you do the rest of the holiday?" Sirius asked. "Jamie here was off toJersey for the hols, while poor old Remus spent a rainy summer in Scotland. I sat and moped for a few weeks."

"Not much," Harry replied, "I shopped, I read, I bought a bird." Fawkes, as if sensing the conversation, swooped down to land on the windowsill.

"Is that a phoenix?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, his name's Fawkes. He took a shine to me so I got a discount to take him off the keeper's hands." Remus held a hand out to the beautiful bird, smiling as Fawkes trilled softly and nibbled his fingers.

James looked interested, but still reserved. "Look here," he suddenly interrupted. "Where did you come from? Why are you joining Hogwarts late? No one else ever has before. And if you're a Potter, why haven't I ever heard of you before?"

Harry looked uncomfortable. "I'm not sure. I just moved to here, so maybe we just never met."

"Yeah!" Sirius suddenly jumped in. "You could be second cousins twice removed or something! Long estranged, only to find a chance meeting and a friendship that lasts through the ages!" The other boys gave him a funny look.

"Have you been reading Narcissa's romance novels again?" asked Remus.

"No! I don't read girly stuff! I don't care if Sarah finally finds that her true love is in fact her estranged brother – really!"

The compartment exploded into laughter.

sshpss

After Sirius broke the ice, James and Harry got along much better. Although James still seemed more reserved than Hagrid's tales had suggested, Harry still felt that their early meeting had gone a long way towards his final goal.

As the train drew close to Hogwarts, Harry pulled his new trunk from under the seat and pulled out his plain black robes. No Gryffindor insignia decorated these swathes of black cloth. Until the sorting, Harry belonged to no house in this new time. Unfortunately, time also seemed to have altered style of robes. The robes of the 70's seemed to have followed the trend Snape still sported in 1997. Harry struggled to find an opening in the huge pile of fabric. Eventually finding the bottom, he promptly got stuck in the twisted cloth. Hearing laughter behind the blackness, Harry groaned and yelled as best he could through a mouthful of wool.

"A little help, if you don't mind."

"Of course not," sniggered Sirius, "after all, dressing yourself is one of life's greatest challenges."

"Says Mr. Is-my-hair-straight-yet?" came James' voice.

"You can talk, Mr. Is-my-hair-messy-enough?"

Harry tried not to sound exasperated. "I'm still not getting any help here!" He tried to take a step forward, but stumbled and tripped backwards. Straight into a tall, hard body. Gentle hands tugged the difficult robes into place and, as the fabric obscuring his eyes fell away, Harry turned to thank his rescuer.

sshpss

"Snape?"

The tall boy took a small step away from him. The dark eyes flickered to the Marauders in the compartment beyond. "Learn to dress yourself properly, Potter," he snapped, before stalking off down the corridor.

Harry turned back to the Marauders, who were still killing themselves laughing.

"How did he know my name?" asked Harry.

"Who? Severus?" asked Remus. "He's a prefect. Prefects make sure to check the name lists before every school year. It helps keep the students in order. If you're new and your name is on the school list, then he'd know automatically who you are."

Harry's eyes flickered to the silver Prefect badge that rested on Remus' own robe, and remembered how it felt when Ron got the job over him. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he turned his attention back to the laughing group in front of him, only too happy to join in.

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 8

_Professor McGonagall's speech taken from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. __I really do apologise for the patheticness of the sorting hat's song._

Chapter 8

Stepping onto the platform in Hogsmeade, Harry looked around, breathing in deeply. It was good to be home. He was then almost knocked over by three exuberant adolescents who cried "Peter!" as they rushed past. Harry watched, seething with silent anger, as Peter Pettigrew was welcomed into a huge group hug between the rest of the Marauders. All the trust between those wonderful people, betrayed. The chubby young man smiled at his friends, chattering excitedly. As Harry came closer he could hear the words.

"So Auntie said I might as well stay until September 1st and meet you guys here."

Sirius looked around as Harry brushed his shoulder. "Oh, yeah, Peter this is Neville. He's new – in our year. Bet he's a Gryffindor, too!" Before Peter could answer, Hagrid's booming voice echoed through the station.

"Firs' years 'ere! All firs' years 'ere. You too, Neville." Harry grinned nervously and said goodbye to his new friends, following after the half-giant.

sshpss

The trip across the lake was as magical as Harry remembered it being. Bright lights flickered into being against the dark backdrop of the castle and night sky. The quiet murmuring of the first years and sudden gasp as a long tentacle rose out of the water to brush along the sides of the boat. Harry got his wand ready in case he had to fish anybody out. He smiled secretly as he remembered the younger Creevy brother, so excited to go swimming with the squid.

It seemed a very short ride across the lake before they stood on the bank of the lake. Hagrid heaved himself out of the tiny boat and led the children across the perfectly manicured lawn, past the whomping willow, to the grand oak doors, which swung open majestically as they approached.

"Welcome to Hogwarts."

sshpss

Professor McGonagall stood in front of the doors, pointed hat perfectly straight on her head. Her tartan robes swept down to the floor, trailing slightly and giving the impression that she was floating rather than walking. The students gazed up at her in awe, not noticing that Hagrid was slipping quietly away through a side door.

"The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room…" Harry tuned Professor McGonagall out. She had been using the same welcome speech for more than _twenty years_? Didn't it ever get boring?

The sudden slam of a door alerted Harry to the fact that McGonagall had left, leaving Harry with a roomful of frightened first-years. All of them looked pale, some whispering fearfully to each other.

"I heard you have to wrestle a mountain troll," said one girl, who looked a bit like Tonks, a very young Tonks. The fact that the girl then promptly tripped over her robes confirmed that fact.

"I heard you have to create a spell in front of everyone," whispered another boy. Harry was just wondering whether to tell them the truth when McGonagall came back.

"Follow me, please," she said.

sshpss

Walking along the small aisle between tables was not nearly as scary as it had been the first time, with no idea of what was going on. The ceiling of the Great Hall glittered with stars above them. Harry heard the words "Hogwarts: A History" somewhere behind him. Reaching the front, the students spilled out to either side of him, waiting. Harry could feel the stares of a hundred students boring into his back; searching, curious. He was an anomaly, different, famous. Again. The first student to ever start Hogwarts late. The hat was brought out and the rip on the brim opened wide.

"_One thousand years ago or more,  
__Witches and Wizards met.  
__To teach the young of truth and lore,  
__And spells and potions kept._

_They searched for different children each.  
__For Ravenclaw, the mind.  
__Slytherin's students, highest reach,  
__And Hufflepuffs, most kind._

_The Gryffindors value bravery,  
__More than all the rest.  
__And as they fought, they all agreed,  
__I should perform the test._

_So try me on,  
__I'll check through.  
__And find the house,  
__That best suits you._"

Dumbledore stood up, strangely deciding to adress the students before the sorting.

"Before the traditional sorting of the first-years, we have a new student to be sorted. He will be entering 6th year. Professor McGonagall, if you please." McGonagall opened a scroll and read out the first name.

"Potter, Harry."

Harry froze.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Dumbledore leaned forward and tapped McGonagall on the shoulder. He murmured something quietly and McGonagall nodded.

"My apologies. There has been a mistake on the list. Neville Potter, please come up here."

Harry released a breath and climbed the stairs to the stage.

"Please sit on the chair and place the hat on your head." Harry picked up the hat and put it on.

"Neville Potter, indeed," grumbled the hat in his ear. "Harry Potter more like. You shouldn't be here. I sorted you once already. Or I will, later, I'm not sure. A Slytherin/Gryffindor mix last time, wasn't it? Yes, yes, all here in your head. More Gryffindor than Slytherin now. That's what being in a house does to you – erases all those qualities you could have used but didn't have a chance to. Perhaps being in Slytherin could balance you out again."

"No!" thought Harry. "I'll never get the job done then!"

"Don't be stupid," said the hat. "It's not the house that makes the argument. I think you'd be much better of in SLYTHERIN!"

"Thanks a lot," thought Harry as he removed the hat.

"My pleasure," he heard faintly back.

sshpss

Slytherin was not a house inclined to showy displays, unless it resulted in something profitable to the house, that is. For that reason, there was no clapping or cheering, as there had been when Harry was first sorted into Gryffindor. Only cool calculating looks, and a few nods of acknowledgement. In contrast, the other three houses were a riot of sound. Boos, hisses, and general dislike echoed through the hall. Glancing over at the Gryffindor table from his seat between Severus Snape and Regulus Black, Harry saw Sirius and James hissing along with the rest. Remus looked sad, and Peter nervous as always, but it still hurt.

It was as if the bonding on the train had never occurred. As if the Marauders had never begun accepting Harry as one of their own. As if they hadn't teased him about the hopeless tangle he had made of his robes. It had been extremely difficult not to just walk over to the Gryffindor table, where he belonged.

Not that he'd ever fit in there now.

sshpss

The feast, usually such a happy affair, was turning into an all-out interrogation for Harry, alias Neville, Potter. Luckily for Harry, there was none of the usual bloodline interrogation that greeted the other new arrivals. The Potters were an old and well-respected family, if a little too well known for their kindness. It was also a sore point that Potters had _always_ been Gryffindor. It was the way of the world. However, the Blacks had been a fairly recent proof that bloodlines never proved anything. Regulus was still steaming slightly at the reminder of his brother's 'betrayal'.

This worried Harry. He couldn't help but wonder if he was betraying his old house by going over to the other side. Not that it could be helped, but it still didn't sit comfortably with Harry. The situation wasn't helped by the fact that he was sitting between Regulus Black, who was a target of constant jabs over Sirius being a traitor, and Severus Snape, who would one day betray his Master to join the Order.

Harry was sitting at a table of traitors, boys who had no qualms over ratting each other out for their own gain. The strange thing was that they seemed perfectly comfortable together. It was a strange familiarity. Comfortable to trade info on others, yet careful to reveal nothing about themselves. The Slytherins clearly had practice at intrigue. It was small wonder that Slytherins often worked their way to the best jobs. '_Using any means to achieve their ends_' indeed.

Curiously, Harry was getting on best with Snape at the moment. Snape sat quietly by himself, advanced astronomy book propped open before him. He asked no questions of Harry and made no comment upon the questions and answers traded throughout his housemates. Yet Harry could see that he was listening carefully to every word. He would be a good spy in the years to come.

As the only one not pelting Harry with demands, Harry felt a stab of gratitude for the opening Snape gave him when he quietly offered Harry more mashed potatoes.

Harry gazed at him warily. It was strange to see Snape like this; young, quiet, almost friendly. But he accepted the potatoes anyway and took a huge mouthful to avoid answering the next barrage of questions from the Slytherins.

sshpss

"Why did the sorting hat take so long with you anyway?" asked Narcissa Black from three seats down. Harry groaned silently. He'd been so sure they'd run out of questions.

"Dunno," he said, "I suppose it just needed to think about it." Narcissa opened her mouth again but Harry cut her off.

"Look, I'm really tired. I think I'm going to head off to bed okay?" Without waiting for an answer, Harry stood up and headed out of the hall. Behind him, Snape neatly placed his half-empty plate on the stack beside his own place. Dessert was still to come, and the plates had not yet vanished.

Harry automatically headed to Gryffindor Tower before realising his new dormitory would be located in the dungeons. It didn't take him too long to find it again, tracing a remembered path from second year, when Ron, Hermione and he had used polyjuice to become temporary Slytherins.

Stopping outside the wall, Harry realised that he didn't know the password. He shouldn't even have known the location of the Common Room yet. Someone else had noticed that, too.

sshpss

Severus Snape leaned easily against the wall, wand twirling between the long pale fingers of his left hand. The wand made a slight tapping noise as it swept against the yellowed fingernails.

"Potter, how did you expect to get into the common room without a prefect?"

"I dunno, really."

"And how did you _find_ the common room in the first place? That is knowledge for Slytherins only. This morning, you were not yet a Slytherin."

"Um… the hat told me?"

Snape looked unimpressed. "Really. The password is '_Escamoteur_'."

Like in second year, the stone wall slid back on itself to reveal the Slytherin common room. It had changed very little over time. The stone walls were roughly hewn from the centre of the castle's dungeons. Green lights, which Harry was finally able to recognise as Pixies in glass jars, still hung from rusted chains attached to the ceiling. The fireplace, carved carefully from black stone, held a hot, flickering fire. The shadows danced over the sharp contours of Snape's face.

"Thanks, Snape," Harry said, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the fact that he needed to ask assistance from his future Professor.

"It was nothing," said Snape dismissively. "My duty as a prefect, nothing more. The sixth year dorm room is this way." He swept off along a corridor hidden in the elaborate stonework by the fireplace. Following, Harry just managed to see the edge of Snape's robes disappearing through a door. Jogging a little to catch up, Harry followed him in.

sshpss

The Slytherin dorms were very like the Gryffindor ones. Although the room was not circular; being underground rather than in a tower, and lacking windows for the same reason, the beds were still four-posters draped in the house colours. Trunks still rested at the base of the beds and a small silver cat purred on a green bedspread at the far end of the room. Snape was still speaking.

"The showers are over there and that bed is yours," he pointed to a bed shoved into the small space against the back wall. "Your dorm-mates are not the most friendly of people. They do not take kindly to having their belongings poked. I suggest that you do not touch."

"How do you know that?" asked Harry.

"I am one of them." With that final word of warning, Snape strode across to the bed beside Harry's, climbed onto it, and yanked the velvet drapes closed. Harry shrugged and collected his pyjamas from his trunk. He showered, changed and lay down on his new bed, quickly falling into an exhausted sleep.

**Translations:  
**_Escamoteur_ – French, meaning 'Wizard'


	11. Chapter 10

Huge enormous thank you's to **Teldra**, who notified me of my small name slip. Would you like to request a drabble for helping me out?

Chapter 10

Harry was woken the next morning by Snape shaking him roughly.

"Come on, it's time for class."

"Just ten more minutes, Ron," Harry muttered into his pillow.

"Ron?" the familiar voice drawled. Harry remembered.

"Snape?" he asked.

"The one and only. Up! Class starts in ten minutes."

Harry groaned and pulled himself into a sitting position. Snape gave him a pile of robes and pushed him towards the bathroom.

sshpss

Ten minutes later a voice echoed through the stone room.

"Snape? Are you there? I'm stuck again." In the next room, Snape sighed and stood up, striding into the bathroom.

"Honestly. Have you never learned to dress yourself?"

"I'm used to different robes," came Harry's voice through the fabric. Snape pulled Harry's arms through the robes and turned back.

"Come on, we're going to be late."

Harry stared after him a moment and made a decision. "Snape! Wait! Thanks for helping me. I know no one else would have here. And… I'd like to be friends. Can we start over?"

Snape looked almost shocked. "I suppose so."

Harry smiled. "Good. I'm Neville." He held out his hand.

Snape hesitated before taking it. "Severus."

sshpss

"Come on, boys, you're late," said Professor Flitwick as the two boys entered the charms classroom a few minutes later.

"Sorry, Professor," they both said. Severus took what must have been his usual seat at the front of the class. Harry smiled – that was Hermione's seat. Looking around the class, he found the room full, only a single rickety chair left next to Severus. Shrugging, Harry sat down beside his new friend.

"Now, I'm sure you've all studied your new textbooks hard over the summer," said Professor Flitwick with a smile that showed he knew the reverse was true. However, having unexpected free time on his hands, Harry had indeed studied over the remaining part of summer. It therefore took him very little time to master the featherweight spell they were studying. Severus was having slightly more trouble.

"I've never been very good at charms," he grumbled. "_Penna Levis!"_

"Here," said Harry. "Twist your wrist when you flick it." Severus twisted his wrist with a terse "_Penna Levis!_" To his amazement, the stone block in front of him instantly became much lighter.

"Brilliant!" Harry smiled. "Well done!"

"Aww," came a sneering voice from across the classroom. "Does ickle Snivellus need help with the little magics?"

"Knock it off, Sirius," said Harry, as Severus glared behind him.

"I thought you were cool, Potter, but all along you were just a dirty Slytherin. Well you can forget about hanging out with us – especially now you've got _Snivellus_ to keep you company."

"Sirius-"

"Don't talk to me, Potter!"

"Sirius-"

"No, Remus. He's a Slytherin, rotten just like the rest of them. He'll ruin us."

"Now, class. No more talking please. You need to practice your spells. Why, Mr. Potter, you're done? And Mr. Snape, too! Oh, well done, well done!"

sshpss

After Professor Flitwick's timely interruption, and the following end-of-class bell, Severus and Harry beat a hasty retreat to the dungeons.

"I can't _believe_ them! They have the nerve to criticise _me_? I'd like to see them brew a decent invisibility potion."

"Now, Severus, I'm sure they can't be- You can brew an invisibility potion?"

"So could most people if they put their minds to it. Why?"

"Nothing. Just thought it might come in handy sometime."

"Never mind that. What are we going to do about Black?"

"Well, Remus wasn't too bad. Maybe I can wear them down?"

"Wear them… **You want to befriend those idiotic bastards**?"

sshpss

Twenty years in the future, Professor Severus Snape had begun having odd flashbacks. Memory lapses. Sudden loss of memory, as though past events were being replaced with new ones. He was so sure the first charms class of 6th year went differently. But… it was… gone.

"Albus?"

"Come in, dear boy."

"I am sorry to trouble you, Headmaster, but do you remember anything about a Neville Potter that attended Hogwarts in 1977?"

"Now that you come to mention it, I have a few memories, yes. Why do you ask?"

"I keep remembering things about him. His name, what he looked like, the first class we attended together, but nothing else. No matter how much I think, I know nothing about his background, or why he was there, or what happened to him. And my memories from that year seem to be changing."

"Changing how?"

"I was sure the first charms class of that year involved Potter, Black and Lupin charming my rock to sing 'Stay young and beautiful' every time I tried to make it lighter. But now I just remember Neville teaching me how to do it, then telling Black to back off."

"Curious, quite curious," said Dumbledore, stroking his beard. "Well, I wouldn't worry. Tell me if you remember anything else."

"Yes, Headmaster."

As Snape left the room, Dumbledore sighed and spoke to the silent room. "I hope you achieve what you need, Harry."


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The sun beat down hot on the edge of the lake as Harry and Severus walked towards the Quidditch pitch. The lake had taken on the appearance of molten gold as the sun shone off it in brilliant waves, a mirage marred only by the occasional ripple as the giant squid broke the surface with long, muscular tentacles.

"Have you ever played before?" Severus asked Harry.

"A few times," Harry said, smiling at the thought of his many accidents and victories in the familiar air of the pitch. "I'm a bit out of practice, though."

It was true. He had hardly played in the past year, as Umbridge's confiscation of his broom prevented any and all airborne activities. He absently rubbed the scar on his hand, dragging his thoughts away from that dark direction. Severus seemed to sense something was wrong, because he glanced towards Harry with a hint of concern in his face.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Harry replied, hastily drawing his fingers away from the white imperfection on his hand. It was too late.

"What is that?" Severus grabbed his arm as Harry moved slightly away.

"It's nothing!"

"Neville." Severus' expression told him to stop arguing and tell the truth. It was obvious that he would not stop without an answer. Harry sighed, and stopped resisting, allowing Severus to examine his hand.

"I will not tell lies?" It wasn't a question, more like Severus was thinking out loud. Harry could almost see the thoughts flying through his friend's mind. Friend. It wasn't a word Harry had ever expected to attach to the potions master. Then again, he wasn't a potions master now. He wasn't a teacher or a Death Eater or a spy. He was just Severus.

Harry's musing was interrupted by Severus' voice. "You don't… self-harm?"

"No!" Harry was shocked. It was a thought that had never even occurred to him. Although, given the careful inscription of the words in his flesh, it was hardly a surprising conclusion to come to. "No, I… it was a punishment at my last school. A quill that carved whatever you wrote into your hand. I had a lot of detentions."

"And did you?" Severus looked slightly uneasy.

"What?"

"Tell lies?" It occurred to Harry that with so many students disliking Snape, along with their sudden friendship, Severus was probably worried that Harry was lying about their friendship. That his new companion was using him or trying to humiliate him.

"No. I don't lie." Severus noticeably relaxed, and released Harry's wrist. He had been gripping it so tightly there was a red ring imprinted around it from Severus' long fingers. Harry rubbed it to restore the circulation.

"Come on – I have a Quidditch team to try out for."

sshpss

"We don't have a free placement as seeker this year, Potter," Flint, the Slytherin captain, told him. "Beater or chaser are available if you want to try out for them."

Harry shook his head. "I'm really better as a seeker. I've never played as anything else."

Flint sighed. "Alright, look. Malfoy is a decent chaser as well as seeker. If you can beat him – you're in. If not, hit the benches, all right?"

Harry nodded.

"Okay, get yourself a broom. Malfoy, get over here - everyone else back to the stands." The team was quick to obey and Malfoy came forward wearing a smirk and deep green quidditch robes. He was carrying a Silver Arrow. Harry remembered Madame Hooch singing the praises of that broom when he first got his Firebolt. Harry was given a Cleansweep 7.

"You're lucky the school updated its brooms this year," Flint told him. "You'd have never stood up to a Silver Arrow otherwise, regardless of skill." Harry accepted the broom and mounted, pushing up into the air. Malfoy followed his example.

"Okay," called Flint. "I'm releasing the snitch. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1." Harry immediately saw the small flash of gold and took off after it, Malfoy on his tail. The tiny metal ball took a sudden detour up and Harry angled up. The sun flashed through his glasses and he had to slow a moment while the white dots faded from his eyes. Malfoy was past him in an instant. Harry pushed his broom onwards, squinting against the light.

Luckily, in the sudden glare, Malfoy also appeared to have lost the snitch. Harry gained height and began to circle, looking carefully over the pitch. Malfoy swooped around him, unwilling to leave him alone. Harry guessed this was a favourite tactic of his.

Knowing that Malfoy had both the faster broom and more practice, Harry knew he had to lose him. With that in mind, he dropped into a freefall. Malfoy zoomed after him, though his angle was not as steep. Although Malfoy was faster, the sheer steepness of Harry's dive made them almost neck-and-neck as they cut through the air like a straw through pumpkin juice. Mere inches from the ground, Harry pulled his broom up, unfortunately forgetting that this broom was not as advanced as his Firebolt, with a slower reaction time. He didn't crash – but only just. Malfoy, not expecting the sudden change in direction, crashed headfirst into the ground with a sickening crack. As he did so, Harry saw what had been following all along. Reaching out, he enclosed the snitch in one triumphant fist, hearing the cheers and gasps behind him.

"Yes!"

sshpss

"Were you completely mad?" Severus was red in the face, trembling with rage, and breathing in short, hard gasps.

"Severus-"

"Don't you 'Severus' me! You could have _died_. You could have broken bones. You could have-"

"Severus, were you _worried_ about me?"

"Of course I was. That's what friends do. They worry. They have heart attacks when their best friend tries to kill themselves."

Harry smiled. "Best friend?"

Severus growled. "You're not _listening_. Aargh! I'll yell at you later."

Harry smiled as he watched Severus stalk off towards the castle.

"Potter." Harry turned to Flint. "That was one hell of a Wronski Feint. How long have you been playing seeker?"

"A few years."

Flint was obviously trying to control his excitement. "Well, that was national standard. You're in."

"Hey!" Malfoy yelled through a bloody nose. "What about me?"

"You're chaser now. I'm not letting this one go."

"Chaser? I'm a seeker! You can't just let this… this _newcomer_ in without a thought."

The argument faded away behind Harry as he put the broom away and trudged up towards the castle.

sshpss

"Severus?" The dungeons were dark and cool, a huge contrast to the unseasonable heat of the grounds. Severus was sitting in the potions classroom, stirring a cauldron of shiny blue cream with almost violent strokes. "Severus, why did you get so upset before?" Severus ignored him. "Was it something I said before the trials?" Severus threw down the glass stirring rod, causing it to shatter into a million shining pieces on the floor.

"No, you idiot, it wasn't what you said. It was what you did. Do you always try to cheat death like this? Are you always so stupid, foolish, irresponsible…." Severus' words slowed and came to a halt. He didn't seem angry any more, just upset. He turned slightly away from Harry, his hair falling over his cheek and casting his face into shadow. He became a hunched silhouette against the flickering flames beneath the cauldron on the table; tragic, beautiful.

"I have few friends, Neville. I don't enter into friendship easily, and I don't give up those few I have. If you will continue to risk your life, I don't want to learn to care about you. If you will keep risking yourself, our friendship ends here."

Harry looked at Severus with his mouth open. He didn't want to give up Severus. Severus was the only one so far who had not constantly asked about his past or hate him at face value. No matter what the past had to say about Severus Snape, Harry's future and Snape's past insisted they were meant to be friends. But the risk? Risk found him, no matter where he went. There was huge risk in him just being here. But….

"I'll be careful," he assured Severus. Severus turned his head and smiled at Harry. It made an incredible difference to his normally sombre face.

"Good."

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

After their conversation in the dungeons, Severus and Harry had become much closer. Severus no longer worried that Harry would leave, and Harry had accepted that he was going to be there for a while, so he may as well make what friends he could. However, by the beginning of October the Marauders had still shown no sign of wanting to renew their friendship with Harry. Although Harry had hoped that Remus might approach him, he thought it was time to make a move.

"Hello, Remus," he smiled as he tipped a pile of parchments and quills onto the library table.

Remus looked up and smiled. "Hello, Neville. Where's Severus?"

"Tutoring some of the 3rd years in potions. He's not the most patient teacher in the world, but he knows what he's talking about. They know they're not going to get any better without him and it'll look good on his record. Maybe one day he'll become a teacher."

Remus chuckled. "Severus? I really don't think he has the patience to teach professionally."

"He's respected for potions. If a class respect you enough you don't need a whole lot of patience."

"Perhaps. I always thought understanding was the best policy."

Harry's face became serious. "I thought we were friends, Remus. I thought we had started to understand each other."

Remus sighed. "Neville, I like you. Really, I do. But Slytherin and Gryffindor have never mixed. It just isn't done. I am willing to be your friend, but the others want nothing to do with Slytherin and they never will. And…"

"What?" Harry asked, wondering what else there could possibly be that would make Remus look nervous.

"I can't be friends with Severus. No, Neville," he continued, holding up a hand to stop Harry's protests. "You know who my friends are. I can't afford to lose them. They were the first to accept me. I will not risk losing them. I will be friends with you, but I am afraid your other friends, as well as mine, are part of a separate world. Do not make me choose – you know who will win. So… friends?" Remus stood up, and Harry followed him.

"Friends."

sshpss

"I can't believe you would go and befriend anyone from that bloody house," Severus grouched later that evening.

"It's not like I declared my undying love for him," Harry retorted, lowering his voice with a nervous look at their roommates. "I made friends. Just like I made friends with you."

"But still… a _marauder_?" Severus spat the word. "I'd rather die."

"Luckily, I'm the one who made friends with Remus, so you won't have to die. All right? Now go to sleep, I'm tired." With that final word on the subject, Harry pulled off his T-shirt and trousers, leaving them in the heap already containing his socks and robe. Dressed just in a pair of red boxers, he slipped under the sheets and fell asleep, unaware of the dark eyes that followed every small sliver of skin exposed.

sshpss

Slipping under the sheets, Severus extinguished the last flickering candle in the room and settled back against the pillow. He looked over at Harry, watching as the slender body turned under the thin cover, causing it to slither down and expose the pale chest.

Severus had known his sexual preference for some time and, although there was no shortage of similarly inclined boys in a school as large as Hogwarts, few wanted to associate themselves with someone like Snape. His overly large nose and potion-greasy hair, not to mention his known interest in the dark arts, left him with few prospective love interests. But Neville was different. Neville was… a friend. A friend and nothing more. Though it was still more affection than he'd ever enjoyed before at Hogwarts. And Neville was gorgeous. Incredibly bright, clear green eyes, soft black hair, small slender body – it was a dream come true. An unattainable dream. That was how hopes and dreams differed, thought Severus; a hope could be achieved, but a dream could just be remembered.

Across from Severus, Harry gave a small sigh and shifted again, wriggling slightly. Severus watched, breath held captive in his chest, as the sheet slipped past Harry's hips, showing off the boxer-clad backside. Severus closed his eyes. Hopeless, wanting something like this. Wanting something more than friendship. Wrong, to ask for more than he'd already been given. Hadn't he always hoped for a friend? Promised nameless gods that a friend was all he'd ever ask for? And now that he had that friend, he wanted more. Human nature was a cruel thing. Severus heard a soft groan and opened his eyes.

Neville had turned over again – did he never stay still while sleeping? – and was now facing Severus. His skin was bathed in white light from the moon creeping out from behind the clouds and there was a rather noticeable bulge beneath his boxers. Severus looked hurriedly away. He shouldn't be watching this. Shouldn't watch as Neville rubbed himself against the sheets. Shouldn't listen to the soft moans and whimpers. Shouldn't find himself reaching across the gap between their beds to help his friend.

Severus jerked his hand away and turned over, facing away from Neville. Hearing another muffled sound from Neville, he buried his head beneath his pillow and tried his best to sleep.

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter.  
**A/N: **I apologise for the lack of updates, but my computer kept blocking this website for some reason. Livejournal (the timetogether community)and HPFandom both recieve weekly updates if you would rather look there.

Chapter 13

The calendar on the wall of Severus Snape's chambers tore another page off itself, reading 12th October, 1997, as the clock chimed midnight. The professor had not yet found sleep, but paced the dark corridors of Hogwarts, for once not searching for errant students. Rather, he did his best to avoid them. Avoiding the usual haunts of meeting lovers – the astronomy tower, the room of requirement, the prefects bath – he walked the silent halls.

Trying to sort his conflicting memories was difficult. Old memories that he had carried with him for years were slowly disappearing. It was as though parts of his soul were being erased. New memories replaced the old ones, confused with those that followed after. He remembered this night, twenty years ago, as one spent alone, surrounded by heavy curtains and lonely parchments. Yet he saw a vivid image of a boy, very much like Potter, lying almost naked in the bed beside his own. The wave of lust that accompanied the image disturbed him. He had _never_ lusted after a student before. Never. But was this a student he had taught?

He knew it was the Slytherin dorms. He knew he was remembering his 6th year there. He knew the boy… Neville… was his friend. He knew he had wanted Neville, perhaps even loved him. But the rest was grey. He did not know what followed this night. He did not know if they became lovers, or stayed friends, or were lost to each other entirely. Professor Severus Snape, potions master of Hogwarts school, buried his head in his hands and wept. For his changing, fragmented memory, for the silent life that could have been filled with happiness and light, and for the boy he wanted so badly to remember.

sshpss

The next morning, Severus was the last to rise. This was unusual, he was normally up with the dawn, but his sleep had been disturbed that night, his dreams full of warm skin and a soft mouth. Given the nature of his dreams, the state of his body that morning was also expected, if not welcome.

"Come on," Harry grinned, trying to pull him up. Severus pushed him away irritably, but sat up when he heard a faint 'Oomph'.

"Not always a morning person, are you," asked Harry from the floor. Severus hesitated, unsure if he should apologise, as Harry stood up and took his hand, pulling.

"Come on. Get up, shower and you'll feel much better."

Severus sighed and stood, stretching. Harry watched him as his pyjama shirt rode up, showing a flat stomach covered in pale, white skin.

"Neville?" Severus looked curiously at Harry as the glazed look cleared from his eyes. "Knut for your thoughts?"

"Huh?"

"You were drooling. I want to know what you were thinking about."

"Oh."

Severus secretly delighted in the blush that covered Harry's skin.

"It was nothing."

"Hmm." Severus smiled slightly. "A lot of things have been 'nothing' lately. I'll ask again later. I want that shower."

"A cold one?" asked Harry mischievously, noting Severus' morning erection beneath the layers of fabric. Severus turned, with great dignity, and pulled on a robe, hiding his body's reaction to his dreams from the night before. Thanking Merlin that Neville didn't come any closer, Severus moved towards the showers. Harry just smiled.

sshpss

Breakfast that morning was a strained event. Remus had apparently told the rest of the Marauders about their new friendship, causing Severus and Sirius to engage in a glaring contest across the gap between the house tables.

"Severus," Harry said for the fourth time, snapping his fingers in front of his friend's eyes.

"What?" Severus snapped back.

"Stop glaring. You have your whole life to intimidate people. Eat your toast."

Severus sighed in an annoyed manner, but bit into a slice of toast anyway. Harry dug through his bag for a quill and parchment, clearing a space in front of him with his other hand.

Severus swallowed and spoke, "What are you doing?"

"Transfiguration homework," Harry told him.

"That should be finished. It was issued more than a week ago."

"Yes, professor," Harry grumbled. "I'm still an inch short." He stared thoughtfully at his parchment for a few moments and then scribbled frantically.

"Do you have a ruler?"

Severus handed him the equipment in silence. Harry held it carefully against his homework, mindful of the wet ink. "Damn, half an inch."

"Give me that," Severus said, pulling the parchment from Harry's fingers. He ran a practised eye down the lines of writing, then tapped a paragraph with one long finger. "You need to elaborate here. Why is blue ink more effective than black for these types of transfiguration?"

Severus finished his breakfast quietly as Harry hastily added to his essay.

sshpss

"Mr. Potter, another O – your work is getting sloppier, though. I would advise you to keep your mind on your work and off of Miss Evans… Mr. Black, O… Mr. Snape, E – well done. Mr. Potter, A – you could have done better. It seems slightly rushed, and there is not enough elaboration here--"

Severus shot Harry a look that plainly said 'I told you so'.

"--but it was otherwise good."

McGonagall finished handing out the homeworks and turned to the front of the class.

"Today, we shall be starting the course on human transfiguration," she said, "mainly animagi. The animagus, as you should remember from your third year, is a person who can turn his or herself into a particular animal at any time. This is very difficult to learn, but once learned is much like riding a broomstick – difficult to forget. Animagi also do not have to trouble themselves with the other complex human transfigurations if they can already turn into the suitable animal at will. A sailor, for example, may be able to transform into a dolphin or large fish, which would help him while at sea. However, if the dolphin animagus worked as a broomstick developer, his animagus form would not be of use in that particular profession, and so he may need to use alternative transfigurations. The alternatives we will be looking at in the following weeks are the _Aqueous_, _Militus_ and _Aeris_ spells. Now, if you could open your textbooks to page 23…"

The lesson continued with study of the wand technique involved in the _Aqueous_ spell. Sirius nudged James about halfway through the lesson and pointed his wand in Severus' direction, adding a few words and a small flick to the end of his 'practice', causing Severus' long fingers to suddenly sprout pink flowers. McGonagall spun around just in time to see Severus begin to choke on a long creeper that had reached up to wrap around his neck. Harry batted frantically at the plant, trying to get it to release its hold.

"Incendio," he shouted. Severus yelped painfully as his robes caught fire, the flames spreading quickly up his sleeves and over his shoulders.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," snapped McGonagall, putting out the fire and casting the counter-charm to release the plant's hold. "Go see Madame Pomfrey, Mr. Snape. Who is responsible for this?"

Harry jumped to his feet, not wanting to drop his dad in it, but incensed over their treatment of Severus. "It was Sirius and Da- James – they attacked him!"

"Hey, Potter, you were the one who set him on fire," Sirius said casually, leaning back in his chair.

"I was trying to help!" Harry fumed. "Why can't you just let us be?"

Sirius' face darkened. "Because you're Slytherins. We should get our shot in before you join the rest of the dark wizards and start hurting us all."

"We're not all dark wizards, Sirius!" Harry yelled. "That's not what Slytherin is about! We are clever, scheming, not bastards. Unlike you."

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall interrupted. "That is quite enough. Each of you will have 20 points taken for fighting in the classroom. Now get back to work, and see that it doesn't happen again."

As he turned back to his work, Harry saw Sirius grin nastily at him, and couldn't help thinking that it was an expression he had seen far too often on Snape's face, back in his own time.

**TBC**


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter

Chapter 14

"Thank you for defending me," Severus said quietly, later that night. "I did not expect anyone to help me."

"How could I not help you?" Harry asked indignantly. "You were being strangled!"

"It is not a practice of Slytherins to help those who are disliked. It is bad for the reputation."

Harry's face was a picture of shock. "So they would have just let you get hurt?"

Severus' expression was ruthful. "I serve no purpose to them."

Harry's mouth hung open. "They… we…" He gave up the fight to articulate the cruelty of his house and simply growled softly. "Bastards."

"It is kind of you to think so." Severus finished rubbing burn ointment into his forearms and twisted around in a futile effort to reach the back of his neck.

"Give me that," Harry said, taking the pot from Severus' long fingers and pulling black material away from the raw skin. Unscrewing the lid, which had been carefully closed to prevent spillage between applications, he dipped one hand in and withdrew it coated in yellow goo. "Eww," he murmured pensively.

"I am perfectly capable of applying the ointment myself, Neville," Severus argued, trying to grab the pot.

"Severus, you'd have to be double jointed to be capable of doing it yourself. Now hold still, this stuff is slippery."

Severus gave up the fight for the pot and sat stiff-backed as Harry applied the cure. Cursing as his fingers slipped, Harry tried his best to keep the gungy stuff from turning his friend's black jumper into one more suited for Hufflepuffs.

"It's no use," he said at last. "You'll have to take the jumper off."

Severus froze. "What?" he asked, after an extended silence.

"Take off your jumper. Unless you'd prefer to walk around dressed like a Hufflepuff."

Severus still hesitated.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," Harry grumbled as the jar fell from his hand yet again. Reaching around Severus, he grasped the edge of the soft wool and pulled. Severus made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a squeak as his clothing was removed.

"Much better," Harry smiled, as his friend's naked back was presented to him. Dipping his hand back in the jar, he finished the job with no further mishap.

sshpss

Lying in bed, Harry closed his eyes and pictured Severus as he had been only hours ago. His body was stiff with tension, but still beautiful in its graceful slenderness. His skin was milk coloured – pale, but with a creamy hint of colour in the shadows between his shoulder blades. The raw burns marred the otherwise flawless skin in angry reddened patches, stretching along his arms and across his neck and back. The black hair flowed over Severus' shoulders, hiding his face from view. Harry wondered if Severus meant to hide. If it was only a chance movement of his body that discouraged Harry's touch from becoming something more than friends would offer. Perhaps…

Unknown to Harry, Severus was experiencing similar thoughts, ensconced in the adjoining bed. Severus had been restless that night, Neville's touch awakening a part of him which had been ignored in the many years his peers had shunned him. He was unused to his body reacting to the touch of another in such a way. It made him defensive and snappy. He had been astonished when his curt "Don't you have homework to do, Potter?" had been met with only a smile and the words "I'll talk to you later, you grumpy git."

Although not entirely pleased to be referred to as a "grumpy git", Severus was none-the-less happy that Neville had not abandoned him. Too many potential friends had left in the face of his cutting sarcasm and quickness to anger. Neville seemed to be different. And too attractive for his own good.

Giving in to the pleading of their bodies, both Harry and Severus slipped a hand beneath the covers before succumbing to sleep.

sshpss

The next day, Severus was still brooding. Harry approached the dark figure in the library with some caution.

"Severus?"

Severus jerked, surprised out of some deep thought. "What do you want, Neville?"

"How long are you going to sit and think about this before we confront it?"

Severus' eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Think about what?"

Harry took a deep breath. "About this. This… attraction between us. You know it's there. It was obvious as hell last night when I rubbed your back."

Severus' eyes closed at the memory.

"Now we need to deal with it. I'll start if you like." Harry waited patiently for an answer.

"What do you think you're doing, Potter? What makes you think I'm the least bit interested in you? And why do you persist in following me around like a dog on a leash? Leave me alone!" Severus stalked off, the bottom of his smart trousers, in the unusual absence of robes, trying their best to billow.

Harry sat down on the steps with a sigh. "Well, so much for that."

"I wouldn't worry, my boy," came a voice from behind him.

sshpss

Harry turned to find Dumbledore engrossed in a copy of 'Marvin the Mad Muggle'.

"Hello, Headmaster."

"Good afternoon, Harry." Dumbledore put the magazine back on its shelf and sat down beside Harry. "Now, having witnessed this… confrontation between yourself and Mister Snape, would I be right in assuming that it is Severus' future you wish to alter?"

Harry shook his head. "Sorry, sir, but no. This is just… a side effect of being sorted into Slytherin."

"Ah, so you did not expect to join the house of the snakes?"

Harry shook his head.

"Then you are a Gryffindor."

Harry's mouth dropped open. "How did you know that, sir?"

Dumbledore took out a small tin box and opened it, withdrawing a Lemon Drop and popping it in his mouth. "Lemon Drop, Harry?"

"No, thank you, sir."

"You do not act like a Slytherin, Harry," Dumbledore said. "You have shown great bravery, and great foolishness, in coming here. You befriended an outcast, much as I hate to refer to Severus as such. You are trying to change the world. These are qualities owned by many Gryffindor students."

"Oh." Harry considered this. "Well, you are right, sir."

"I thought so. In that case, would it be the other Mister Potter you are trying to alter."

"Not exactly, sir. I really don't think I should be talking about this. I've probably told you too much already."

"I understand," Dumbledore said, sucking thoughtfully on his Lemon Drop. "So how is your relationship with Severus?"

"It's not a relationship exactly…" Harry mumbled, flushing.

"No? I see differently. Perhaps you have simply not faced it yet."

Harry sat silently in his chair.

"Here." Dumbledore plucked something off the table and handed it to Harry. "Take Severus his potions book back. Talk to him. You will both be happier for it."

Harry held out his hand. "Thank you, sir."

Smiling his all-knowing smile, eyes sparkling madly behind the half-moon lenses, Dumbledore watched his newest project run off to fix his friendship.

**TBC**


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter

Chapter 15

By the time Harry returned to the Slytherin Common room, Severus had barricaded himself inside the dorm room. Luckily, none of their room-mates had felt the need to come back yet, so Harry settled himself on the floor outside the room, knowing he would be there for some time.

"You can't stay in there forever Severus." A stony silence greeted his words.

"You can't avoid the issue either." The silence stretched on between them.

"Open the door, Severus." The door showed no sign of budging. Harry pushed half-heartedly at it, but only succeeded in giving himself what looked like a nasty burn when green sparks leapt out at him.

"_Fine_. If you can't show me that maturity you're always lecturing about, then I'll just have to talk through the door, won't I? Either way you'll have to listen." Harry broke off to smile politely at two third-year students coming down the stairs. They looked at him curiously, but moved on. "I like you. I know you like me. Dumbledore is also convinced that we should get together, as terrifying as that thought is. How does he keep up with this sort of thing? Anyway, since we like each other, I see no harm in us taking this a bit further. I don't know what your problem is! Why can't you just give in and be happy for once in your miserable, problem-filled life?" The door suddenly burst open and Harry was hauled roughly into the room.

"For God's sake, Potter – what are you trying to do to me? What on earth were you thinking, speaking about… private matters where anyone could hear?"

"You didn't exactly give me a choice," Harry mumbled, but Severus kept going.

"And why exactly does Dumbledore know anything about all this? Shouldn't he be busy running the school or eating those God-awful lemon sweets or _something_?"

"Severus..."

"I mean, there must be something else to do in a castle this size, rather than spying on the students."

"Severus…"

"I should write to the Governors!" Harry gave in trying to get Severus' attention and simply grabbed him by the back of his robes, spun him around and proceeded to kiss him senseless. When he finally released his friend, he saw with a small amount of pride that Severus' eyes were even darker than usual and his skin was flushed slightly.

sshpss

It seemed that Severus was much more willing to talk once he'd been thrown off balance for a while. He agreed to sit down and talk about their attraction, although he seemed a little distracted all the way through. This distraction caused him to ask "what?" much more often than usual, but was a welcome change from the usual snappy sarcasm.

"What's wrong, Severus?" Harry asked finally.

"What? Nothing."

"Yes there is, you haven't focussed properly since we started this conversation." Severus' eyes were glazing over again.

"Severus!"

"Kiss me again." Harry froze pre-rant.

"What did you say?" his question was answered by 10 stone of young potions master pushing him down onto the bed and kissing him desperately. Harry groaned into the kiss, feeling Severus' erection pressing into his hip. When Severus finally pulled away for air, breathing in ragged gasps, Harry was ready for far more than just kissing.

"Sorry," Severus panted, moving to sit back down in his chair.

"Come back here," Harry growled. "Are we together?"

Severus looked unsure. "Would you… like to be together?"

Harry made a sound of exasperation. "What do you think?" He gestured down towards the bulge in his jeans.

"Then yes."

"In that case, get back over here and kiss me." Harry smiled, and Severus rose from the uncomfortable chair to give Harry exactly what he wanted.

sshpss

After the first awkward episode, both Harry and Severus settled easily into the role of boyfriend. Severus was still snappy and sarcastic, but as always, Harry saw through it. Harry, on the other hand, had developed an unshakeable cheeriness. Until, that is, Potions with the Gryffindors a few weeks later.

"Hi Neville."

"Oh, hi Lily." Harry and Lily had become tentative friends during the past few months, working together over Charms coursework when Flitwick announced he would be choosing inter-house pairs. Lily was, predictably, ignoring the Marauder's prejudice and was slowly wearing away even Severus' cold exterior. The other Slytherins still yelled 'Mudblood' and the Gryffindors still failed to understand their friendship, but it was there none-the-less.

"Listen, Neville, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Harry put down his textbook and gave Lily his full attention.

"Would you… maybe… be interested in going to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?" Beside Harry, Severus' head shot up, a look of shock plastered across his face. Harry was sure the same expression much be crossing his own. His mum was asking him out? Eww.

Unfortunately, Lily saw his face. "Oh, I'm sorry. I understand if you don't want to go with me. I just thought…"

"Lily, no!" Harry cried, as he lunged forward to stop her turning away. "It's not you. I'm already involved with someone." Beside him, he felt Severus relax a little.

"Involved?" snorted Sirius. Who would have you when they could have me or Jamie, or even Malfoy, pretty-boy that he is? You're not the best looker in the school, Potter."

"Yeah," Peter joined in. "No girl would want you!" Lily looked vaguely insulted.

"Excuse me, I happen to be…" But she was drowned out by a chorus of jeers from the rest of the class.

"He is involved with me!" Severus thundered. The room went deathly silent. "Does anybody wish to make something of that?" Not a sound was made. "Good." Severus sat back down.

sshpss

"So you're a faggot then." Sirius' voice was clear in the quiet room. "Both of you. See, I said no girl would take him – no boy would either. He had to settle for Snivellus."

"Don't you _dare_ talk about Severus that way," Harry snarled. "He understands the meaning of love – which is more than I can say for on-your-back Black."

"How dare you?" Sirius hissed, outraged. "You,"

"Now class," Professor Slughorn said, coming into the class. "Today we shall be making the Draught of Living Death. Please open your copy of Advanced Potions Making to…"

sshpss

"Lily! Lily, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for any of that to happen."

Lily turned back towards him, shifting her books to a more comfortable position in her arms. "Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Are you really involved with Severus?"

"Yes," Harry smiled. "Yes, I really am."

"So you weren't just trying to let me down."

"Of course not! I love you, Lily. You're a fantastic friend. But I couldn't be that to you."

"You're homosexual, then?"

Harry considered the question. "I don't think so. Snape-sexual, maybe. Why?"

"I'd just like someone else to sit down and talk about the boys with. And you're already my friend so…"

"No problem." Harry picked up hid bag from where he'd dropped it on the stone floor. "So we're okay?"

"Yes, Harry. Good night."

Harry grinned to himself. Yes, he would have a good night. After what Severus had said today, it would be a very good night indeed.

**TBC**


	17. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter

Chapter 16

"You are brilliant!" Harry told Severus solemnly as he stripped for bed.

"Yes, I always thought so," Severus replied. "Does tonight have any special significance that would cause you to tell me so?"

"You told everyone, just like that! I would never have the courage to do that."

Severus' fingers paused on the buttons of his robe. "Would you rather I had said nothing?"

"No," Harry replied, pulling Severus' half-dressed body down onto the bed with him. "I'm glad we can tell people. We shouldn't be ashamed of this. And anyway, what else was I going to tell Lily?"

"Ah yes, I will never understand your friendship with Evans, but will endeavour to not bring my confusion up too often."

"She's nice to you. I don't know why you don't like her."

"I don't dislike her, exactly." Severus pulled his robe over his head and allowed it to pool on the floor beside his trousers. He then lay back and made himself comfortable. "She is too close to Potter, that's all. I don't wish to be caught in the firing line between the two."

"They'll sort it out," Harry said with a knowing grin.

"Be that as it may, I would rather steer clear until the smoke is completely clear. Now get out – single beds are not made for two."

Harry ignored him and curled more comfortably on the soft mattress, pressing against Severus' warm side.

"Did you not hear me?"

"I heard. You're just comfy. I think I'll stay here."

Harry grinned as Severus exhaled softly. They had reached a new understanding. When Severus didn't fight about something, it meant it was set in stone. The bed as theirs now.

sshpss

Waking up the next morning, Harry was momentarily confused by the warm skin resting beneath his cheek. Then he remembered, and sat up straight, staring down at his boyfriend.

"Stop bouncing," Severus groaned, one arm flung over his eyes. "It's too early."

""Tempus," Harry muttered, then winced. Yes, it was too early. He snuggled back down under the covers beside Severus.

"Why are you up early today?" Severus asked. "You are usually asleep until the end of breakfast."

"I'm just not used to sleeping next to someone, I guess." Harry said pensively. I suspect I'll get used to it."

"I suspect I'll _have_ to get used to it," Severus grumbled grouchily from beneath the covers. Harry grinned mischieveously. It seemed Severus wasn't quite the early bird he made himself out to be. Struck with a sudden idea, Harry reached carefully between the sheets.

Severus yelped. "Potter! What are you… oh Merlin…" Harry watched Severus' eyes close with delight. They'd never touched properly yet. They both felt they should wait until they were both comfortable with the idea of being together. But after yesterday's public admission from Severus, and then spending the night together, Harry felt that this was a natural step.

Especially when Severus made noises like that.

sshpss

Severus, on the other hand, was in heaven. Pure and simple. The hand on his cock was just firm enough, just _rough_ enough. Just how he liked it. He had never had anyone else do this before, and he had doubted Neville had done it. But now he wasn't so sure. How did Neville know how to do these things? How did he know to run the pad of his thumb across the wet tip, and how did he know to squeeze the base like that, and how did he know… Severus' mind blanked out altogether as he came.

Harry withdrew his hand to lick the white liquid off. Severus watched him with dark, dazed eyes.

"Did you like that?" Harry asked, as he slipped from the bed to fetch a cloth. There was no sound behind him. Returning to the bed, Harry smirked at the picture of debauchery that Severus Snape presented at that moment. For once, the living thesaurus was without words. It was rather nice.

"Well?" Harry's hand slipped down to caress his own erection. Watching Severus come was an amazing turn-on. Severus' eyes followed the progress of his hand, before the rest of his body caught up and a pale, slender hand reached out to give assistance.

The gentle, tentative touches, growing steadily bolder, coupled with the memory of his lover's orgasm, had Harry spilling himself into Severus' hand within moments. Cleaning himself up, Harry contented himself with watching Severus carefully licking his pale fingers clean. Tired and sated, the two drifted back to sleep.

**TBC**


	18. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter

Chapter 17

"It has happened again, Albus."

Severus Snape was sitting opposite the Hogwarts Headmaster, two steaming cups of tea and bowl of lemon drops seperating them. The elderly man folded his hands in front of him on the desk and just looked at the potions master across the length of the table.

"What has happened?"

"The memories. They keep changing." Although he kept his outer layer of calm wrapped around him, Severus was not calm. In fact, he could not ever remember being so far from calm. His memories were being messed around as though someone had dipped into his head and mixed everything around with a great spoon. Was he the only one? No one else had noticed anything. Not Albus, not Lupin, not Minerva. At least, not that he had heard.

"Albus?"

Lupin's shaggy head sat in the fire, looking patiently up at the two. Severus almost unconsciously straightened his spine, a small part of his mind shouting to appear more intimidating, to regain his mask.

"Remus," Albus said, standing to loom over the fireplace. "Has it happened again?"

"It has. Several times in fact, but I seem to have gained one."

Severus wondered of what they were speaking.

"I think you had better come in," Albus said, standing back to let Remus in.

Remus came through the fire in a rush of emerald green flame and dark ash.

"Severus, Remus," Albus said, "You both appear to be suffering from the same affliction. Perhaps between us, we can work through this."

Privately, Albus Dumbledore was hiding all knowledge of what was happening deep inside his mind, away from the skilled Ligilimens before him. He knew that he could not tell the two men of what was really happening until it was all over and all safe. Until he knew himself how the events would pan out.

"Please, both of you, tell each other what you know."

The two men looked at each other with a certain measure of distrust, although Remus wore his habitual calm demeanour like a cloak against any harm that might befall him under Snape's sharp tongue.

"Alright. I have been receiving… replacement memories," Remus said at last.

"As have I."

"About a boy called Neville."

"Yes."

Remus wondered what it was that always made their conversation so hesitant. They could have been friends, once. They may yet be, if their shared memories turned out to be true.

"Do you know what happened to him?" Snape asked quietly. Remus looked at him. The quietness of his voice proclaimed more loudly than any shout or snarl the desperation behind the question.

"No," Snape's shoulders hunched almost inperceptably inwards, shielding himself from further denial.

"You loved him." Remus stated.

Severus' head jerked up in shock. "How..?"

"I was not blind. Anyone could see that you cared for one another… if this boy even existed… Just the fact that you stood up and told the world was enough."

Severus sank back in his seat, although some inner part of him screamed not to let his guard down before the wolf. They were together in this. Trapped in a beautiful nightmare that Severus wanted both to run from and towards. Towards the love offered to him and away from the pain that must follow. Incredible. Impossible.

Remus watched the emotions hide behind Snape's sneering mask of blankness and felt pity for the man. He needed someone to love him, and to have that but not know how it ended or who his mystery lover really was must be awful. Remus had felt the same way when Sirius had supposedly killed James and Lily. Not quite the same, but the same confusion and bewildered curiosity was there. When had things gone wrong? What had really happened?

It was a curse of humanity.

No more words were exchanged between the two that day. Severus sat, head cradled in his hands and ran through every precious memory he had of Neville Potter, while Remus stood silent vigil beside him. Both waiting for a boy who was not there.

**TBC**


	19. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter

Chapter 18

"You've been keeping something from me, Neville, and I want to know what it is."

Harry looked up from his book, to be confronted with the tall frame of his lover that, under the current circumstances, looked every bit as intimidating as it would twenty years from now. Harry had noticed that the particular style of robes worn during this time had a habit of… well, there was no other word for it, _billowing_ when a person walked really fast. Apparently, Severus had hung onto them when he became a teacher.

Harry wondered sometimes when and why Severus had become a teacher. From what Harry had seen in his own time, Severus Snape did _not_ like children. For all intents and purposes, he did not appear to like them much here either. So why would he take a job that required day-to-day contact with them all?

"Severus, what do you want to do when you leave school?"

Severus blinked, thrown off by the sudden change in topic.

"Neville, if you think this attempt to divert my attention from the problem at hand will work, you are even more imbecilic than I first imagined."

"No, I'm not. I just want to know."

"A teacher."

Harry's eyes went wide. "Really? But I thought you thought that everyone here were complete idiots. Why would you want to teach them?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "Of course I would not want to teach _them_. I wish to be a university lecturer. Someone from whom students would take advise and discuss what they do not understand, rather than whining pathetically like immature adolescents."

"You're an adolescent, Severus."

"I said immature."

Harry didn't think it was worth arguing the point. This still left a question unanswered, though. "Then how-?" He abruptly shut his mouth with a sharp clicking sound as his teeth knocked together in his haste.

"How what?" Severus was watching him with slight impatience, obviously wishing to return to the topic at hand.

"Nothing."

"Good. Now, you are hiding something from me. What is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

The look of impatience grew on Severus' face. "Don't play dumb with me, Potter. I know something's wrong and you are going to tell me what it is. Do you take me for an idiot?"

Harry knew better than to try to talk his way out of a full-on confrontation with Severus. He wondered if he could get away with a partial truth.

"of course I don't think you're an idiot, Severus. If I did I probably wouldn't have survived this long," Harry tried to inject a joking tone to his voice, but a worried tremble gave him away. Severus sat down opposite him.

"Talk."

Harry talked.

He talked about how dark and depressing his life had become over the last few months of his own time. He talked of how he had longed to find love and a family. He talked of how he had convinced himself that time travel would solve his problems.

Severus listened in silence as Harry purged his soul of all the guilt and sadness and longing that had plagued it for so long. Then he took Harry's hand in his own.

"Neville Potter," he said. "You are related in some way to James Potter. Not as a cousin, like you claimed. An uncle, perhaps?"

Harry held his breath as Severus paused.

"A father?"

Harry felt Severus withdraw minutely away from him and clutched at his arm. No! He would not – could not – just let Severus go, on the basis of truths he could only guess at.

"I never said that."

"And is he?"

Harry dropped his arm. "I can't say."

"I thought so." Severus stood and began to walk away.

"Severus!" Severus turned and just looked at Harry, one dark eyebrow raised.

"I really didn't want it to be this way."

His admission earned him a short nod. "I'm sure you didn't."

sshpss

Harry's refusal to tell Severus any more than what he already knew drew a sharp wedge between the lovers. It hurt Harry to see this new distance between them. They had barely even begun to come together before they were broken apart.

Harry had rarely found love in his short life. His parents, Sirius, Cho - everyone had been taken away, one way or another. All right, so it probably wasn't love with Cho, but it was as close as he'd ever come before this strange experience. And now Severus was gone.

Not quite gone. He still sat beside Harry in lessons, talked to him, and stood up to their slightly older roommates when they were the target of some good-natured ribbing about the night before, when they had both become a little… overexcited. Despite this, though, the mere fact that Severus no longer allowed them to share a bed, and that he wouldn't let Harry fall asleep on his shoulder in the common room any more showed the new tension.

Harry knew he had to tell Severus the truth. The only question was how.

**TBC**


	20. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter

Chapter 19

"Severus, we need to talk."

The words dreaded by couples across the world passed Harry Potter's lips for the first time in the context of a relationship on the 12th December, 1977. He was not happy to be having this conversation, although he was not using them in the normal circumstance. He did not want to break up with Severus, no. He wanted to discuss something that was potentially even more important.

How he came to be here.

The outcome of this conversation could dictate the events following it. If Severus ran screaming from the room, perhaps it was all for the better. It would give Harry an advantage with the marauders and it would prevent the nasty goodbyes when Harry returned to him own time. But if he didn't…? If he didn't, Harry could continue being the happiest he had been in a long time. What were his chances?

"So you have come to your senses and wish to discuss this secret you've been hoarding?" Severus asked cooly, as he set aside his transfigurations text.

"Yes."

"Then go ahead. I'm waiting."

Harry took a moment to compose himself and run once more over his carefully planned explanation.

"I'm not from here."

There, that was a nice, safe start.

"I know that. Perhaps you would wish to start with a point I have not already become acquainted with?"

Typical Snape-speak, Harry thought fondly. He can never just say 'Tell me something I don't know.'

"Alright. I meant to come here."

"And there would be a way in which you could come here by accident?" The sarcasm was beginning to seep through the patience in Severus' voice now.

"It was an accident. I wasn't supposed to come here _yet_?"

"I see. A portkey accident? They are easily corrected, Neville."

"No, not a portkey."

"Floo? It would not be difficult to navigate your way back out."

"No, not that either."

Severus was becoming impatient.

"Then what? Surely it can not be so important that you can not tell a single soul."

"A time turner."

Severus looked sceptical.

"Time travel. You are telling me you travelled back in time. Or forward?"

"Back."

"I see. And this would be something to keep from your lover, why?"

Harry sighed. "Use that big brain of yours, Severus. Anything I tell you could change the future."

"You know me then."

Harry's mouth snapped shut as what he had given away registered in his mind.

"Doesn't the ministry have ways of dealing with accidents like this?"

Harry took in a deep lungful of air. "Maybe. This wasn't… strictly above board."

"And therefore you have no way of returning."

"Exactly."

"How, and why, did you get here in the first place."

"There was a potion and a spell. We cast the spell on an object, but the potion went wrong and that's why I'm back here now. As for the why – I can't tell you that."

"I see. Do you have the object in question?"

Harry thought about it. It had never really occurred to him before.

"Wait here," he told Severus, before dashing off up the staircase. Reaching their rooms, Harry rummaged around in his trunk, emerging with the simple shirt and trousers he had arrived in. Rummaging around in the trouser pocket, Harry finally withdrew the broken sneakoscope from his forth year. Hermione had pronounced it perfect, removed all the spells placed on it prior to their little adventure, and recast the new spells. Harry brought it back down to Severus.

"Are the spells still operational?" Severus asked, examining the cracked spinning top with interest.

"I think so."

"And the potion?"

"I can't make it. It's too complicated. I was going to ask Dumbledore what I should do, once I've done what I have to."

"I can help you." The sentence was not spoken with any sort of offer in its tone. Nor was there any hint of mocking or pride. It was simple fact.

"I don't have the instructions," Harry admitted.

"Then we will find them."

Although Harry could detect a small measure of sadness in Severus' voice at the thought that he would leave, there was also a thin strand of excitement, joy at finding a new project and puzzle to solve. Severus was picking up his book.

"Where are you going?" asked Harry, scrambling up beside him.

"Evidently, I have found all I can from you. I am going to the library to find this potion. When you feel that you can tell me more, come and find me."

Harry just stood there, unsure if they were back on even footing once more.

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Are we okay?"

Severus gave a deep sigh. "We are not okay, Neville." He said. "We will not be okay until you are free to be completely honest with me. I dislike lies and secrets." Harry thought how ironic it was that lies and secrets would become this boy's entire life one day. "When you can, come and find me. Perhaps then we can be what we were."

Harry could do nothing but stand and watch Severus leave. He was right; there was nothing more he could say. Until he was back in his own time, with an elder Severus who despised the very sight of him, could he confess. And until he could confess, nothing would be right.

Life could never be right again.

**TBC**


	21. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter

Chapter 20

Although there was still some tension in the air between Harry and Severus in the following weeks, Severus did appreciate that Neville was trying to be honest with him. He knew that Neville did not want to lie, or even keep things from him, but that he was in a very awkward position. But he still could not help feeling angry that, when he had finally found someone, there could not be any true trust between them. Trust was very important.

Despite the unspoken thoughts and actions that Harry still hid away from his lover, Severus relented and they began to move back towards their former intimacy. Severus once more allowed Harry to curl up next to him on the comfortable chairs in the common room, although he still threw him back out of bed with startling regularity. Harry hadn't quite given up hope yet, and still clambered in beside him every evening.

In addition to this, Severus had begun research into the time turners. Every day, after classes, he and Harry would go to the library and read through the hundreds upon hundreds of books on the subject. Harry had found out very quickly that Hogwarts did not yet have a copy of _Intermediate Object Bewitchment_, on account of the fact that it was written in 1980. Harry was currently in the year 1977.

Severus had, however, recovered a copy of _Moste Potente Potions_ from the restricted section, with the help of a pass from Professor Slughorn. The potions professor had looked delighted when Severus asked if he could use the book for some research he was doing.

"Of course, of course, anything for such an eager student," he smiled. Harry was beginning to get strong Lockhart vibes from the man. He was glad, however, when the pleased chatter ended with a pale yellow parchment pass. Just what they needed.

"You're brilliant!" Harry told Severus as they exited the classroom and headed for the library.

"I told no lies," Severus replied, looking slightly smug all the same. "I am doing research. And I did not mention which potion I was researching."

Harry was beginning to see definite advantages to a Slytherin lover.

sshpss

Severus had taken very little time to find the right potion. He had also found a reference to the correct reference book, scribbled in the margin by some helpful former student.

"'_Working with Time_', by Arvad Tempa" he informed Harry, who hurried away to find the book. As he left he saw Severus make a small note in the margin of the potion. It was a habit he had noticed in Severus. It surprised him somewhat. Severus wrote on _everything_. He had always seemed the sort who treated books as if they had a personality, and should be treated with the utmost respect. Even if they were called something like '_Dark Curses to Die For_'. Madame Pince would not be pleased, that was for sure, but there was no point in arguing with Severus. He was convinced that everyone needed his expertise, even if they didn't particularly care for it. It was just Severus.

Nevertheless, he was usually right. It didn't really matter for Harry's current job anyway. He had never understood the library's filing system. If it was in a pile, he could find it. Otherwise… No. Just no. He was just staring in hopeless resignation at the many shelves he would have to search when a friendly voice called out to him.

"Neville!"

"Remus? What are you doing here?"

Remus gave him a bemused look. "Reading. What are you doing?"

"Looking for a book. I can't ever find anything here."

"What's the book?"

"'_Working with Time'_, I think it's called."

Remus looked thoughtful and then disappeared among the shelves, returning a moment later with a red book. "Is this what you were looking for?"

Harry looked down at the book in his hand. "Yes, brilliant. Thank you."

"My pleasure." Remus sat back down in the rickety wooden chairs provided by the library. "So how are you and Severus?"

"Better than last week, worse than when you last asked."

"Trouble in paradise?"

Madame Pince gave them both a sharp look and they lowered their voices.

"We've been having issues with secrets."

"Oh, we all have our secrets. It can be hard to share them but…" Remus hesitated. "Sometimes it's better to just tell. Things can work out better for it."

Harry remembered that Remus had faced the task of telling his own secrets to the marauders. And they had become better friends for it. Even if in the end they had lost trust over it. Not that it would matter with Severus. He would leave no matter what he said.

"Maybe."

Remus patted him on the arm. "Don't worry, Neville. I'm sure everything-"

"Remus!"

Harry saw Remus' face go white with shock, and then the tall form of Sirius Black strode through the door.

**TBC**


	22. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer:** J.K.Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter.

Chapter 21

Sirius stormed into the library and shoved Harry to one side, placing himself protectively between Remus and his adversary.

"Remus, why are you talking to _him_?" he spat.

Remus looked between Harry and Sirius, a frown creasing his forehead. "Sirius, can't you even _try _to get along with Neville?" he asked.

"What?" Sirius looked flabbergasted, mouth hanging open slightly.

"You were perfectly friendly when he was up for consideration as a marauder, and from what you told us on the train he's as good a prankster as you ever were. He's a perfectly nice person, but as soon as he was sorted into Slytherin you decided he wasn't good enough. Where is that famous sense of honour you keep going on about."

Harry was also slightly surprised. Remus seemed genuinely angry – it wasn't a side of his future professor he had seen very often. It also surprised him that Remus was willing to stand up for him after his reservations about going against the other marauders.

"Even if you refuse to be friends with Neville, that does not mean that I have to." Remus finished.

"But – he's shagging Snape!" Sirius spluttered.

"And how does that have any bearing on our friendship?" Remus asked, just as Harry piped up with, "What makes you think I'm the one shagging him?"

Sirius looked from one to the other, speechless, before stalking off in the direction of the North Tower, and the Gryffindor dorms. Remus sighed, beginning to gather up a small pile of books and transferring them to his bag.

"Well, that went well." He sighed.

Harry let out a shaky, shock-induced laugh. He had not expected to meet Sirius here, and had to admit that he had not yet been prepared for this angry side to his godfather. The Sirius he knew had been kind and protective, then funny and mischievous, and then… this. Harry didn't like it.

"Thank you for standing up to me," he told Remus, immensely glad that at least one of the adults from his former life retained their normal personality.

Remus just smiled. "I was glad to," he said. "Sirius can be a bit hot-headed sometimes, but that is no reason to treat you the way he has been. Someone needed to set him straight."

"Still," Harry argued. "It was good of you to be the one to do it. I know your friends are important to you."

Remus lowered his bag to the floor. "Friends are always important, Neville," he said seriously. "That is what makes them friends. Keep hold of Severus. You won't find a friend as brave and loyal as him again. He won't let you down."

Harry looked after Remus as he left the library, wondering where the sudden thread of conversation had come from. Did Remus know about-? No, he couldn't. It was probably just some well-intentioned advice. Or perhaps it was just based from what Remus already knew about the two of them. He knew that Harry was hiding something, and it was obvious that Severus was stubborn as hell. Why should he act any different towards friendship?

Harry turned back towards the dungeons, book clasped tightly in one hand. They had work to do.

sshpss

"Did you get the book?" Severus asked distractedly as Harry came back in.

"Yes," Harry answered, laying his book on the table beside Severus. He settled down on the sofa and leaned over his lover's shoulder, seeing the white pages of '_Moste Potente Potions_' now black with ink. The thin, spiky lettering almost obscured the fine print of the book, and many words had been circled, crossed out, or written over with substitutions. Harry eyed the book nervously.

"Madame Pince is not going to like that," he told Severus, giving voice to his earlier thoughts.

Severus surveyed the text critically. "I can get rid of it before we return it. For now, though, the extra notes will help us."

"When is it due back?" Harry asked.

"Not for two weeks. Then I can go and ask to keep it out a while longer."

"Rather you than me," Harry muttered.

Severus shut the book and pulled the new one towards himself.

"Make yourself useful," he said. "If you really know so little about this process, and are unwilling to research it yourself, you can begin compiling research for our charms coursework."

Harry left again with a slight smile. It seemed that no matter how old Severus was, he would always use long words when he was irritated. It was just a part of him. Like being an idiot when someone was in danger was a trait of Harry's.

The line of thought drew perilously close to Sirius again; the memory of Harry's vision before his death, the accident itself, his behaviour now… Harry slammed a lid down on the thoughts before they could erupt, like an overboiled potion, in a flood of emotion. And as for emotion… Harry knew why he resisted actively researching his way back home. He didn't want to leave. Even though he was still fighting his way to his parent's side, fighting his way to his goal, he knew that he would have to eventually leave. And that scared him.

He didn't want to leave Severus.

He didn't want to leave him to year after year of cold loneliness while Harry passed the years by in a flash. It wasn't fair. And there was another fear too.

Was that why Snape hated him so much? Had the potions master of his future recognised his lover and hated him for leaving? Did time changes even work that way?

Harry didn't know. There was no way_ to_ know. And without knowing, Harry didn't want to leave his lover alone. He wanted to stay. Forever.

Forever…


	23. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer:** As ever, I don't own them, and I am not making any money off them. This disclaimer stands for the rest of the fic. I hate writing it all the time.  
**Note:** Well, here I am, back again with a new load of chapters. Only two chapters and an alternate ending to go after this. So near the end... Also, there will be a character death in about 9 chapters time, just to warn you.

Chapter 22

"Alright, Albus. I know you know what's going on. Spit it out!" Albus Dumbledore watched in some amusement as his potions professor paced in agitation before the mahogany desk.

"I don't know what you could possibly be speaking of, Severus, " he said innocently. "Lemon drop?"

"No, I do not want a lemon drop," Severus snapped. "I want to know why my mind is replacing it's own memories!"

"I can't help you, Severus. I am no psychologist."

Severus groaned. The infuriating old man would not help him until he decided it was completely necessary. He knew that. Why did he even bother?

"Sit down, Severus." Severus lowered himself reluctantly into one of the hideous yellow/green armchairs Albus insisted on cluttering his office with. He accepted the china cup of tea with resignation. Albus would not say a word more until he had drunk at least half the cup.

"Now," Albus said calmly, as the tea dropped below the line of blue tulips stretching around the cup, "What exactly is wrong."

"As I told you, my memories have been disappearing, replacing themselves with new ones. I know you know something about it, else you would not have dragged Lupin through the fireplace last time I asked."

"I only know that Remus was also experiencing similar memories."

A black eyebrow arched at the headmaster. "And you yourself are experiencing no ill effects?"

"I know nothing that I do not believe to have known in the past."

A typically Dumbledorian answer. Not yes, but not no either. Severus gave up and turned the conversation elsewhere.

"Have you located Potter yet?"

"Why, Severus, I did not know you cared!" Albus was twinkling at him. Severus stamped down on the idea before it could take root in the old man's brain. Not that he could really divert such thoughts in a mind so swimming with insane ideas.

"I do not care." He told Albus, nevertheless. "I am merely tired of hearing Minerva twittering in my ear every mealtime about how Potter's golden group are pining for him, how she is worried sick, how death eaters could have taken him etc. etc. If the Dark Lord had Potter, I would have heard about it. Besides which, he was reputedly with his friends until the moment he disappeared. He obviously slipped of himself."

"Why would he do that?" Alibis knew exactly where Harry Potter was. His own slowly returning memories told him the exact time and location of his errant charge, but he could tell no one else. And he was interested to find out Severus' thoughts on the matter.

"He has been forced to live a life he does not want. He is expected to kill and die for a cause he did not even know about until eleven years of age. Anyone would try to escape. No one deserves to be controlled in such a manner," Severus' voice trailed off slightly, before his thoughts ended on a whisper. "I should know…"

Albus looked at the tired man with pity. Yes, Severus would know. He had lived his life since the age of eighteen in servitude to one master or another. Perhaps he was the only one who could have foreseen this possibility. He was the only one to have lived it.

"When we find Harry," Albus began, ignoring the potions master's derisive snort, "Yes, we will find him, Severus. I want you to get to know him better. I think you could become very close."

Severus gave a harsh bark of laughter, and set down his empty teacup on the desk.

"Forgive me, headmaster, but I do not think that will ever be a possibility. Now if you refuse to answer my questions, I have work to do. Good day." Severus strode out of the office, robes billowing behind him like water off a black rock. Albus heard the click of his boots echoing down the hall.

Oh, Severus he thought. If only you knew.


	24. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Severus had made a copy of the potion in a worn black notebook. This book had become the log for all research, notes and ideas that spilled from Severus' well-educated mind. Harry put in his own two pence occasionally, being the only one of the two of them to have actually performed the spell and made the potion. He knew quite well that he could not do it again, especially without Hermione's help, but Severus was more than capable of creating the complex potion. With this in mind, Severus had begun to research the places he could find the many ingredients without arousing the suspicion of the professors.

As his research went on, the autumn redness faded into the starched white of winter. The lake was frozen to a glistening stretch of glassy ice and the whomping willow's sleepy branches supported a dense weight of thick snow. The grounds rose pure and untouched every morning as fresh snow fell from the heavens, only to be tracked into grey tracks edged in muddy slush by the end of the day. As Christmas drew closer, the doors to the greenhouses froze over and Professor Sprout decided to close up the herbology lessons for the holidays, in fear of her Venomous Tentacula not surviving the freezing temperatures.

This provided Severus with the perfect opportunity to harvest some much-needed ingredients.

Harry and Severus waited for the cover of darkness before creeping out of the dungeons and heading down across the snowy grounds. New snow fell in glossy flakes over their black cloaks, painting a soft pattern over their shoulders. Drawing close to the greenhouses, Harry slowed to a halt.

"What?" Severus asked in a hurried whisper.

"We'll leave tracks," Harry whispered back, six years of sneaking around the halls of Hogwarts ingrained in his mind.

"The snow will cover them back up again," Severus whispered back. "Come. We only have a few minutes before we disturb the other plants."

Severus had checked information on all the plants currently residing in greenhouse three, checking for reaction times on the mobile ones, poison and antidotes, properties and so on. He was taking no chances.

Reaching the doors of the greenhouse, Harry removed his wand and whispered a spell.

"Incendio!"

His wand lit at the end like a long wooden cigarette. He ran the tip of the wand down the seam of the frozen doors. The ice melted beneath the glowing heat and the doors swung smoothly open. Severus slipped inside beside him.

Harry tucked his wand back into his sleeve and followed Severus inside. His future professor was walking with quick, confident steps between the rows of plants, gathering bulbs and silk-soft petals into the small cloth bag he had brought. Harry stood by the door, keeping an eye on the silent grounds and checking for professors on patrol.

Severus touched him lightly on the shoulder.

"Time to go," he whispered in Harry's ear. Harry nodded and led the way back out into the swirling snow.


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

"Merry Christmas!"

Severus Snape batted irritably at the young man perched at the end of his bed.

"Severus! Come on, you have presents!" Harry bounced slightly at the end of his bed. Severus shoved him slightly from beneath the covers. The move was unexpected, given that Harry could not actually see what he was doing, and Harry fell with a thump from the bed, dragging the duvet with him. Severus sat up and glared.

"Sorry." Harry grinned up at him from the floor. Severus' glare deepened, and Harry received a startlingly clear image of a middle-aged Severus, dressed in black robes rather than green pyjamas, sending this same glare down onto Harry and his friends.

"What are you doing, Potter?" Severus asked, his voice calm but bordering on exasperated.

"Sitting? Come on, you're up now anyway. You'll miss breakfast if you don't hurry."

Severus summoned a clock from Rodolphus' bedside table and checked the time.

"Breakfast won't be over for another two hours," he pointed out.

"How long do you normally spend unwrapping your presents?"

Severus gave a deep sigh, acknowledging that he would get no further sleep, and climbed out of bed.

"Fine." Harry jumped off Severus' bed and the two went downstairs to the large, silver-clad tree at the bottom of the stairs. Severus sat down on one of the armchairs while Harry flopped down beneath the tree.

"What are you doing there?" Harry asked, twisting around to see his friend.

"Sitting." Severus replied dryly. "Accio."

A green-wrapped gift settled in his opened palm. Harry grinned and leaned back to watch him. Severus stopped, uncomfortable.

"Are you not going to open your own?"

Harry blushed slightly. "I don't think… Umm…"

"Spit it out, Potter."

"I don't think I have any."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Don't be daft, Potter. Of course you have some."

Harry grinned. "Really?" He dived into the pile. "Ooh." Harry emerged with a small wrapped parcel in dark blue. He turned over the plain blue tag.

"To Neville, from Remus. Please try not to get me into any more trouble with Sirius." Harry's face fell. "Oh no! I didn't get Remus anything. Well, not him personally."

Harry had, in fact, bought the marauders as a whole a book, called 'Moon Magic'. It was a study of magic that could only be performed at different times of the moon's cycle. He hoped it wasn't too forward, and wouldn't give away his knowledge, but it seemed something they could all use. It might also be the olive branch that finally forged their friendship.

Severus gave him a searching look but didn't comment. Harry turned his attention back to the present and carefully peeled back the spellotape holding one side closed. He tipped up the end over his lap and watched a small piece of parchment slide out. Another, smaller bit of parchment fell out with it. Harry picked it up

_Dear Neville, to use this, tap the parchment with the tip of your wand and say 'I solemnly swear I am ready to snoop'. To wipe it clean say 'Snoopiness Satisfied'. It will tell you what people are doing at the time, and what you should be doing. Hopefully, this will prevent further 'incidents' as well as get your homework done on time, rather than the morning before class. Yes, I have seen you writing at the Slytherin table. All the best, Remus_

Harry picked up the parchment and pulled his wand from his pyjama pocket. "I solemnly swear I am ready to snoop."

The parchment opened up to show Harry's name in black ink, green words scrawled beside it.

"Opening presents."

Harry laughed, mentally thanking Remus. As his friend's name crossed his mind, the words morphed and changed.

"Remus Lupin: Reading 'Moon Magic'"

Harry smiled. At least Remus was getting use out of his gift. He tapped the parchment again and spoke the closing password, "Snoopiness Satisfied". Setting the parchment to one side, he dived into the pile again. Emerging, he saw Severus still sitting in the same chair, a small but finely made gobstone set balanced on the arm.

"From my Mother," he answered the unspoken question. "She was gobstones champion of Hogwarts three years running."

"What about your Dad?" Harry asked.

"Muggle."

"Oh," it seemed odd to Harry, for a parent not to know about such things as gobstones, especially if their spouse was a champion. Even the Dursleys knew about Quidditch. Severus interrupted this line of thought with a wave of his hand.

"Well? You have other gifts, I believe."

"So do you!" Harry pointed out, handing him a package, this time wrapped in shimmering purple-gold. It looked as if Dumbledore had wrapped it and Harry had a tough time connecting the bright parcel with his stern friend.

Severus accepted the small box and watched as Harry pulled out one from himself.

"Open yours then," Harry told Severus. Severus pulled the paper back and revealed a dark green sweater, adorned with a great curling S. Harry felt a brief pang of loneliness as he remembered the Weasley sweater he would not receive this year. Severus slipped the sweater over his head, much to the surprise of Harry.

"What is it, Neville?"

Harry blinked. "Huh?"

"You are staring at me. I would appreciate you stop."

Harry shook his head to clear it. "It looks good on you, the sweater I mean."

Severus inclined his head in thanks before nodding to the box. "Are you going to open it, then?"

Harry read the label. "From Professor Slughorn," he informed Severus. Since his skills were no longer obstructed by a great bat-like shape swooping across the classroom, Harry had much improved in potions. That, along with his Quidditch skills, has earned him an invitation to the Slug Club, a 'gathering' of gifted students who could help Slughorn in later life, or so Harry heard. Severus had also been offered an invitation. Both had refused, but Slughorn hadn't quite given up yet.

The gift, as it turned out, was a book on Quidditch manoeuvres. Rather interesting too, even Severus took a quick look, "so as to better anticipate your suicide attempts".

This brought an end to Harry's gifts. Slytherins did not really give each other gifts like the Gryffindors did. They weren't that chummy. Harry had bought a gift for Severus regardless. He hoped the other boy would like it.

Severus quickly worked through his own small pile, also having few family and friends to shower him with gifts. Finally, he reached the last one. Harry's. He opened up the long, thin box and drew out a silver, self-inking, spell-checking quill.

"Thank you Neville," he said with a small smile. "This will be very useful, I am sure."

"I know it's a bit lame," Harry said, blushing. "But I couldn't think what to buy you, and I thought you'd definitely use this. I know you hate impractical gifts."

Severus nodded. "Yes, and this is both practical and attractive. Thank you. Now, here is yours."

Severus reached into the pocket of his dressing gown and brought out a small, cylindrical tube. Harry took it curiously, mindful of Severus' warning that it was fragile. He unscrewed the lid and tilted it slightly so that the contents slid out onto the rug. A bottle.

Harry looked up at Severus in confusion. His lover swallowed, as if to clear an obstruction before speaking and whispered

"It's the time potion, Neville. You can go home."


	26. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Harry looked down at the small bottle in amazement. "Severus… I thought this would take weeks to make."

Severus gave a soft sigh. "Yes, it did. I did my research and thought… thought that you would want to go home as quickly as possible." His eyes were downcast and Harry looked up in wonder at him. He knew what a sacrifice it was to let someone you loved go. He had learned that lesson over and over; Sirius, his parents, he could not imagine _choosing_ to let them go. But that was what Severus was doing: letting him go, so he would be happy.

"Why?" he whispered.

Severus' eyes opened. "I don't understand," he said. "I thought this would make you happy, Neville."

"It does, it does," Harry quickly reassured him. "I just- How can you just _do_ this? You've only known about the time travel a few months. We've been researching even less. I thought you would be more upset at the idea of me leaving." Harry turned away. Had the secrets damaged them so much?

"Don't be an idiot, Potter," came the sharp voice. Despite knowing that Severus was probably trying to cover up a bout of insecurity, Harry smiled at hearing the sharp voice with which he was so familiar. "Of course I will miss you. However, I believed that you wished to go home."

Severus slid down from his chair to kneel in front of Harry, tipping his chin gently up. "I love you, Neville," he said. Harry gave him a watery smile, which wavered again with Severus' next words, pulled right out of history, "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I thank you for that, Neville."

Harry buried his face in Severus' shoulder, clutching his around the waist. "What idiot thought that up?" he mumbled, pleased despite his sadness to hear the deep laugh against his chest.

SSHPSS

It took a long time for both Severus and Harry to compose themselves after the tearful episode in the common room. Luckily, they were the only two left behind in Slytherin – the rest had all gone home for Christmas. Therefore, no pride was hurt and the two could spend as long as they liked getting sorted out before going to the Hall for breakfast.

With a small smile, Harry pondered whether Severus would have ventured downstairs in nothing more than his dressing gown and pyjamas if there had been others about. The thought that Severus felt so comfortable with him warmed him, and he couldn't help giving Severus a kiss before they left the Slytherin dorms. Severus was surprised, but made no comment on the impulsive action.

Harry had wrapped the precious bottle in a blue shirt before tucking it deep in his trunk. He did not want to risk anything happening to the liquid, especially not while it was surrounded by all his earthly belongings. That could ruin any chance of him returning to the future, not to mention cause a loss of his belongings; clothes, books, potions ingredients - he had already borrowed enough from Dumbledore.

Their presents safely stowed away, though, Harry and Severus ventured downstairs for lunch. They had missed breakfast, after their morning of opening gifts, and their stomachs rumbled gratefully at the thought of food.

"Merry Christmas!" cried Albus Dumbledore, as they walked into the Great Hall. "Have a cracker!" He held out a brightly-wrapped red cracker to Severus, who looked at it in disdain but pulled anyway. The cracker burst with a resounding 'bang!' and released a flock of white doves into the air. Harry suppressed a smile and sat down between Remus and the only other available chair. Severus settled beside him a moment later, brushing feathers from his robes. Harry helped himself to the roast potatoes and then swapped with Severus for the turkey. Remus passed him the jug of pumpkin juice with a smile.

"Merry Christmas, Neville!"

"Merry Christmas," Harry returned. "Did you get some good stuff?"

"Oh yes," Remus replied with a sly smile. "In fact, I got a fascinating book on moon magic from someone."

"Really?" asked Harry, playing along. "I wonder who gave you that?"

"Sirius, James and Peter want me to pass on their thanks if ever find out who it as, right guys?" He elbowed Sirius sharply in the abdomen, causing his friend to choke on a piece of turkey and begin coughing madly, trying to clear the blockage.

"He says, Yes," James called over Sirius' shoulder as he attempted the Heimlich manoeuvre, causing an even greater fit of coughing to erupt from Sirius. Harry could feel Severus shaking with silent laughter behind him.

"Eviens," Tiny Professor Flitwick squeaked from across the table. Sirius gasped as the turkey in his throat suddenly vanished.

"Thanks," he gasped out. Flitwick merely smiled, tucked his wand back into his robes, and continued eating.

Their conversations diverged after that, Remus talking to the rest of the marauders and Harry conversing quietly with Severus. The food was beginning to get cold, despite the warming charms, when the two groups eventually stood to return to their respective common rooms. As they reached the Entrance Hall, Sirius stopped.

SSHPSS

"Look, Potter," he said. "I admit, for a Slytherin, you're not bad. Remus lies you, and even if you _are_ friends with Snivellus, I'm willing to put differences behind us." He stuck out his hand. "Friends?"

Harry froze, caught between taking this chance that he'd been waiting for since arriving, and standing up for his lover. He needed to be friends with the marauders – their lives depended on it, but Severus had liked him… loved him, for longer than they had. Loved him for him.

It was that moment that Harry realised for the first time that Sirius, and even perhaps Remus, had loved him back home simply because of James. Neither had really known him. And here, Remus had liked him for himself, but the others hadn't. Even Remus had not measured up to Severus here.

What could he do?

Harry felt Severus' warmth leave his side and draw away. He saw the dark silhouette begin to descend the steps towards the dungeons, even as Sirius' hand remained outstretched. And Harry made his decision.

"Friends," he said. He saw the bright smile that spread across Remus' face, and the slight hesitation in Severus' step as the answer reached him. He saw his own hand reach out to shake, stopping at the last moment.

"If-"

"If what?" Sirius sounded exasperated, as if this whole thing was a waste of time.

"If you stop calling Severus 'Snivellus' and show him some respect."

Sirius' mouth dropped open.

"You want me to call that _coward_…"

"What did I just say about respect? Whether you like it or not, Severus is my boyfriend, and I will not compromise him to please you. Now, do you want to be my friend, or not?"

Sirius sighed deeply. "_Fine_."

Harry smiled. "Good." He shook Sirius' hand and stepped away, moving to follow Severus back to the dorms. He stopped for a moment to speak quietly to Remus on the way.

"I know that was for you," he whispered. "You have a good friend there." He barely heard Remus' answer.

"I know."


	27. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Severus was waiting for him at the bottom of the steps.

"Thank you," he said. Harry shrugged.

"You deserve some respect," he replied. "I didn't ask for anything unreasonable."

Severus smiled slightly. "You wouldn't think it from the way he was scowling." Severus looked rather pleased at the prospect that he's managed to get one over on Sirius.

"None of that," Harry warned. "I got you some respect. I want you to show Sirius some and put some effort into this friendship-"

"Friendship?"

"-Because I want all of my friends to get along. This is important to me, please, Severus."

Severus gave a long-suffering sigh. "Oh, very well, but don't think I will not be after payment for this."

Harry grinned back. "I know. And anyway, I know you really always liked Remus-" Harry yelped with laughter as Severus grabbed for him, and dashed off down the corridor. He heard Severus' rapid footsteps behind him, closer, closer, until-

"Mr. Potter!" Professor McGonagall glared down at Harry through her thin glasses.

"Oops, sorry Professor." Severus skidded to a halt beside his friend as Harry apologised profusely to the teacher he had almost flattened.

"And Mr. Snape, this is not behaviour befitting a prefect."

"Sorry, Professor."

Professor McGonagall stared critically at the two a moment longer before stepping back to let them pass. "Get back to your common rooms, and I don't want to see any more running about in these corridors again."

"Yes, Professor," the boys chorused, before heading, at a walk, towards the Slytherin dorms.

SSHPSS

It was quite nice, Harry reflected, to have the dorms to themselves over the holidays. It left them much freer to do what they wanted, without worry of what their dorm mates would say. Severus, upon reaching the dorms, had immediately settled himself on one of the comfortable chairs by the fire, book in one hand, and held his arms open in invitation. Harry settled himself in Severus' lap, shifting to get more comfortable as Severus' arms closed around him, his left arm angled to allow him to still read the book. Harry, feeling full and tired, simply rested his head on Severus' shoulder and quickly fell asleep, lulled by the soft turning of the pages.

Severus quietly set his book back on the table as he realised his friend had fallen asleep. Shifting in the seat to work some feeling back into his legs, Severus slid his arms beneath the other boy's legs and lifted him gently up. Standing, he returned to their room and set Harry down on the bed. Carefully removing Harry's shoes, Severus eased the covers out from under the lax body and pulled them up over the tired boy.

Harry felt the movements through a haze of tired relaxation; his eyes blinking slowly open before drifting shut again.

"Severus?" he yawned.

"Go back to sleep, Neville," Severus said, stepping away from the bed.

"Come back?" Harry pleaded quietly, holding out his arms. Severus hesitated and Harry, just coherent enough to notice it, reached toward him more insistently. "Come on, there's no one here."

Severus hesitated a moment longer, then slid into the bed. He had forgone his robes today, on account of the holiday and lack of former pupils towards which to uphold a standard. Harry moved over to give him room then, as soon as he was settled, shuffled over to rest his head on Severus' sweater-clad chest. He yawned again and closed his eyes, feeling Severus' long fingers run through his hair.

"'M tired," he mumbled.

"I know," Severus replied. "Don't worry, I'll wake you for dinner."

Exhausted by a sleepless night, filled with excitement over the first Christmas he would spend with his lover, followed by a morning of gifts and uncontained emotion, Harry drifted off to sleep. Finally, finally, he could be secure again in the knowledge that Severus wasn't quite as far from his reach as he had thought.


	28. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Harry had slept through the afternoon and into the evening, until Severus, as promised, woke him for dinner. He was unusually sleepy all through the meal of leftover turkey and went to bed earlier than usual, reasoning that the past few weeks of work and worrying lack of progress with the marauders had caught up with him. Especially when coupled with the relief of having things back to normal with Severus and of finally getting through to Sirius. Severus followed him up, moving back to his own bed, rather than settling back into Harry's as he had done earlier in the day. Harry quickly vetoed the decision, almost dragging the protesting Severus beneath the covers. It was very difficult to be intimidating in stripy pyjamas, however, and Severus quickly gave in.

It was a very comfortable way to sleep, Harry reflected as he burrowed into his lover's warm side. Severus let out a small sigh and shifted against his cheek before falling still once more, one arm draped over Harry. Both were glad to have their relationship back to normal, although neither really regretted their argument. It had tested their boundaries, after all, and every couple needed to do that before they became close.

Such a thought worried Harry because, try as he might, he could not forget that he must soon return to his own time. The tiny bottle in the bottom of his trunk saw to that. And although Severus had his sincerest thanks for all his hard work on the potion, he couldn't help the pang of sadness that reminded him, always, that they would be separated soon.

HPSSHP

The following morning greeted Harry with a burst of flame as Fawkes appeared before him. Beneath his head, Severus' chest rose and fell with a groan as his arm rose to cover his eyes.

"God, I hate mornings." He grumbled. Harry grinned and reached up to stroke Fawkes' bright feathers. The phoenix trilled a happy note before rising back up to perch on the bedpost.

"What are you doing here?" he asked the bird. Fawkes just stared at him. "I'm sorry," he apologised. "I know I haven't been paying proper attention to you lately." Fawkes continued to stare reproachfully at him.

"Do you want to come and have some breakfast with us?" Harry asked. The phoenix bobbed it's head and let out another high note.

"Fine," Severus mumbled beneath the covers. "Just get that bloody bird off the bed."

Harry looked in amusement at his boyfriend before speaking again to Fawkes. "You go down to the hall. I'll be down in a minute."

Fawkes took off in a flutter of large wings before bursting into flame once more and disappearing. Harry turned back to his disgruntled lover.

"Come on, Severus. Time to get up."

HPSSHP

Breakfast was a rather quiet affair, considering the early hour. Harry was busy feeding bits of bacon to Fawkes when the marauders, minus Peter, entered. Remus slid into a seat beside Harry.

"Hey, Neville," he said. "Hi, Fawkes." Fawkes nipped him in a friendly manner on the shoulder. Beside them, Sirius was obviously making a huge effort to be civil to Severus.

"Snape," he muttered as he sat down.

"Black," Severus replied, pushing his bowl of porridge between them in a rather defensive manner.

"Snape," James said, albeit in a slightly more friendly tone. Harry hid a smile. Obviously, both Remus and Lily had been having words with his father. His suspicions were confirmed when Lily settled next to him.

"Good morning, Neville," she said brightly. Harry was reminded rather forcefully of Hermione as he noticed her charms textbook clasped in one hand.

"Good morning," Harry replied. He watched as James left Sirius to fend for himself against Severus and joined Lily, slipping one arm around her waist.

"You're finally together then?" The two gaped at him.

"How-"

"Oh, please," Harry waved a hand dismissively. "You couldn't possibly have made it more obvious you fancied each other."

Lily blushed bright pink and buried her face in the charms book, while James did a lot of throat clearing. "Yes, well…"

"I'm happy for you."

James looked up at him. "Thanks, Potter. You're not so bad, are you?"

"Why, thank you," Harry replied dryly. His attention was distracted again by Fawkes, who was slowly tearing away the sleeve of his robe. "Ow! Repairo. What do you want, Fawkes?"

In reply, his pet pulled the bacon from his hand before flying out of the open window at the far end of the hall. Harry watched Fawkes fly away, turning to find that both Lily and James had done the same.

"A phoenix is an international symbol of being trustworthy, you know," Lily said, giving her boyfriend a meaningful look. James looked uncomfortable, even more so when Severus came up and tapped Harry lightly on the shoulder.

"Are you coming?" he asked. Harry nodded and was just rising when an unfamiliar owl soared through the window and landed on the table. It held out it's leg to Severus. Severus looked confused, but unwrapped the scroll as Harry stroked the glossy black feathers and offered his unfinished orange juice to the tired bird. Severus unrolled the scroll, looked at it, then rolled it back up and stalked out without a word. Harry shared a worried look with Lily before following Severus.

He found the other boy outside. He was rereading the letter, not noticing the think white flakes drifting down from the sky.

"Severus?"

"He's dead." Severus then lapsed back into silence.

Harry sat down beside him. "Who?"

"My father." There was a remarkable lack of emotion with which these words were spoken. Harry wondered if it was shock, or Severus' infamous control over his emotions, or perhaps Severus simply didn't care. What was his father like? Harry had never found out, had never thought about it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Severus stood up, shaking off Harry's consoling hand. "Don't be. I don't need pity. My mother is safe. She is going into hiding."

"Why?" Harry was confused. How exactly had Severus' father died?

"He was murdered. Voldemort murdered him. You do know who Voldemort is, don't you?" Harry nodded wordlessly. Yes, he knew.

Severus looked at him steadily. "A great pity." He walked away, leaving Harry on the steps of the school, mind filled with whirling thoughts, and the terrible knowledge that time was running out.


	29. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Severus had met with Dumbledore the afternoon following his receival of the letter. Dumbledore had already been informed by his mother, and had been asked to keep Severus at the school.

"No good can come of this," Eileen Snape had written. "I have gone into hiding, and I believe it is better for all involved if Severus simply stays at Hogwarts. He will be out of danger and away from distraction. Please do your best to keep him at Hogwarts."

Severus was furious. He had been no great fan of his father, but felt it his duty to be there for the funeral. If only for the sake of his mother.

"Then for the sake of your mother, stay at Hogwarts," Dumbledore had said.

And Severus had relented.

SSHPSS

"Are you alright?" Harry asked tentatively as Severus completed his potions essay in the early morning quiet of the common room.

"Of course," Severus snapped out.

Harry sighed. "You've just seemed a little… tense, since you got that letter. I don't want you to bottle things up inside. It isn't good for you."

Severus sent a low-level glare towards Harry, which deepened as he took in the resolute expression on his lover's face.

"My father id dead, Neville," he said. "I believe I have the right to be 'a little tense'. I would be much better if you would_stop bringing it up_." Harry looked away, and Severus turned back to his essay.

"I mean, it isn't like anyone can_force _me to stay here!" Severus exploded a few moments later, his quill landing with a clatter on the parchment spread across the desk. Harry sat up and settled himself more comfortably on the green chair, content to listen.

"I agreed. If I wished to leave, I could. I_would_." Severus continued his rant, jumping up to pace the short length of his desk over and over, back and forth. Harry's head was kept in constant motion as he watched. "…I would."

"I know you would," Harry whispered as Severus' voice trailed off. "But you know better. Stay here. You'll be fine. Your_mother _will be fine. Please keep it that way."

Severus sat down beside Harry with a sigh and buried his face in Harry's messy hair. Harry slipped his arms around Severus' waist and hugged him tightly. "It'll be okay…"

SSHPSS

Life was suprisingly subdued after Severus' outburst. All the anger seemed to have drained from him, leaving him quiet and withdrawn. He had, however, grown closer and closer to his only friend, until they were near inseparable once more. Harry, on the other hand, had been forced to realise how little time he had left, and was frantically researching defensive techniques, attacks, portkey manufacture.

His friendship with the Marauders was developing, but not as quickly as he needed. Lily trusted him, but one was not enough. His only other option was to kill Voldemort, before he could gain any more power. Harry had not forgotten the prophecy:

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not… and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives… the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..._"

Harry had thought a lot about the prophecy as the end of the year drew closer. He had known for some time that time was running out. He had written it out a while back, so as to easier focus on the parts he needed. It was a struggle to keep it hidden from Severus, as they often borrowed quills, books, and even robes, on occasion, from each other now. Luckily, it had yet to be found, and the scrap of parchment was now scribbled all over.

It was rather obvious what the mark was. Anyone with half a brain could figure out that it referred to the scar. The "thrice defied" and "born as the seventh month dies" had already taken place, which left the battle. So only one of them could die. Or could "either" include both? And what was the "power the Dark Lord knows not"?

"What are you doing?" Severus asked, coming into the dorm room and draping his winter cloak over the edge of his trunk. Harry slammed his transfigurations book shut on the parchment, looking guiltier than was probably wise.

"Nothing much," he replied. Severus came and sat on the edge of his bed, looking down at the work he'd spread around himself as a precaution.

"Transfigurations?" he asked.

"Yeah. I hate essays," harry complained.

"Perhaps you need a distraction?"

Harry perked up immediately at the idea of distractions of any sort. While homework wasn't fun, prophecy translation was indefinitely worse. It would be a relief to take a break. He nodded.

Severus paused a moment longer, giving Harry a considering look, before pushing him back with a single hand on Harry's chest. Harry yelped as he toppled backwards, then grinned as Severus settled on top of him.

"Hello," he said.

"Shut up." Severus replied. Harry wondered for a moment whether or not to be insulted, then decided it didn't matter when Severus kissed him. "You. Always. Talk. Too. Much." Severus told him between kisses.

"Sorry, I don't mean to always do that," Harry mumbled in reply.

Severus sighed in exasperation, and Harry realised he was enforcing Severus' statement. He'd try to be quiet this time… maybe then Severus wouldn't give up and go to do his prefect duties early like he had last time, when Harry had dissolved into giggles at the sight of the tall boy completely tangled in his robes. They got rather athletic sometimes. Harry suppressed a laugh at the memory.

"What is it now?" Severus groaned, lifting himself off Harry as his boyfriend shook with silent laughter. "You always do this. I'm not_that_ bad a kisser."

"It's nothing to do with you," Harry quickly reassured him. "I was just thinking."

"If you can still think, then I'm not doing my job properly," Severus groused. Harry took a deep breath to bring his laughter under control, forcefully wiped his mind clear of all potentially funny memories and tugged Severus back down. Severus gave another long-suffering sigh, but allowed the movement.

It was a good evening.


	30. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Fawkes gave a mournful cry as another feather drifted down from his formerly bright golden wings, now transformed to a dull copper. His burning was close. Harry stroked the tiny head and sharp beak, marvelling at how such a magnificent creature could look so pathetic under the right conditions.

Was that how Voldemort had seemed at first? Harry wondered. Why would people join him if he were as hideous as Harry remembered? Fawkes gave an irritated squawk, as if sensing his thoughts.

"I didn't mean you, Fawkes," he told the bird. "Of course you aren't hideous. You're just not your usual sunny self." The phoenix settled under his caressing fingers. Harry turned his thought back to his nemesis. In his time, Voldemort was feared for his power, or revered for it. No one would ever have joined him as he will be then. So he must have, sometime in the past, been attractive in some way.

Why did Severus join him?

Once upon a time, Harry would have said power. He knew better now. There were times when Severus seemed to want just to disappear, unrecognised by anyone. It was a sad existence. Harry felt the same, sometimes, but his friends always pulled him through. Severus had not had real friends before.

Fawkes gave another soft cry and flapped effortfully, gracelessly, into the air. Harry watched him move away, kept buoyant on the air only by the long feathers at the tips of his wings, which caught the breeze and lifted him. It would be so nice just to fly away…

SSHPSS

Harry spent another hour in the owlery, pensively watching the sun come up through the wide windows. Birds swooped in, returning from the night's hunt or a recent delivery from their busy owners. Fawkes did not return.

Harry had woken early that morning and, unable to return to the silence and solitude of sleep, had left Severus lying peacefully in their bed. After wandering the halls aimlessly for a few hours, narrowly escaping McGonagall on her morning rounds, he had ended up in the owlery.

With the sun up, the students were free to leave their common rooms, so Harry headed downstairs to breakfast. His morning walk had not lead him to any decisions regarding Voldemort, but he felt a great deal calmer, and his mind had cleared.

The Great Hall was quiet at this early stage of the morning, only a few ever-studious Ravenclaws and a lonely Hufflepuff occupying the other benches. Severus was sitting at his usual seat.

Fawkes was perched on the rim of a spare goblet, eating small scraps of bacon offered by his human companion. He twisted his head to see Harry, before returning his attention to Severus' long fingers and the bacon held between them.

"Good morning," Harry greeted, sitting down in his accustomed place to Severus' right. "You're up early."

"As are you." The dark eyes regarded him solemnly. "Was something wrong? You rarely leave before I wake."

"No, just feeling restless, I suppose."

Severus did not look convinced, but did not comment, instead brushing a long finger down Fawkes' back.

"What woke you?" Harry asked, curious.

Severus hesitated a moment before answering. "You were not there."

Part of Harry was shocked by this confession from this normally closed partner, but another part glowed with happiness. This, more than all the other things they had done together do far, showed him that Severus was growing used to his presence. And that posed a problem, one that Harry was not willing to face at the moment.

"_What when I leave?"_

SSHPSS

Harry had no idea what would happen to Severus when Harry had to go home. They had faced the first hurdle already, when Severus offered his Christmas gift, but Harry still did not feel ready to part. Yet that time was growing ever closer.

Harry's sheer lack of preparedness became apparent only a few days later, in the form of Regulus Black. Harry had avoided Sirius' brother since his arrival at Hogwarts, not only because of his friendship with Sirius but also because of the maliciousness displayed by the other boy in the presence of Lucius Malfoy. Regulus had been seen to play cruel tricks on the other houses and even torment the younger members of Slytherin with sly jibes and 'private' jokes. Harry was far from impressed.

Severus had expressed his own dislike for the self-centred boy, and kept his distance as much as possible. His mother had liked the idea of Severus being so well connected, but Severus no longer felt this an issue considering their separation after the death of his father. Regulus, however, had yet to take the hint.

"So, Severus," he said casually, flopping down on the chair opposite Severus in a manner reminiscent of Harry's godfather. His long legs swung over the arm as he sat half-propped against the back. "It has been too long since we last talked."

Severus eyed him with distaste and Harry hid a grin at the obvious disapproval in his eyes. "Perhaps," Severus replied smoothly. He was, after all, nothing if not good at hiding his true opinion. A proper Slytherin, he would have said.

"A few friends of mine are having a little… get together," Regulus continued, oblivious. "Some very powerful people will be there."

"Is there a reason beyond your self-satisfaction that this has been brought to my attention?" Severus asked. His tone was still deceptively bored, but Harry could tell he was getting irritated. His long fingers twitched on the book clenched in his hands. He disliked being interrupted when studying.

"Why, Severus!" Regulus exclaimed. "Why so cold? I merely came to invite you, that is all."

"I am not interested," Severus said, returning to his book.

"Oh, but, Severus," Regulus interrupted again. "Why not?"

"I have better ways to spend my time than-"

"Is it your boyfriend over there?" Harry bristled slightly. "Because he can come too, if you like."

"If I come," Severus asked, with a long-suffering sigh, "Will you go away?"

"If you insist," Regulus agreed with a dramatic sigh.

"Fine then. Go." Regulus lifted himself from the chair, with the ungainly elegance often attempted by the unpopular. Harry grinned into his defence textbook. The Black boy looked about as elegant as a dancing hippo in comparison to Severus. He didn't remember Sirius ever being like that. Perhaps it was just that Sirius had never tried.

SSHPSS

"Severus, you can not be serious," Harry protested, half jogging to keep up with his boyfriend's longer stride.

He had finally discovered exactly what type of party this was. Severus had received a glossy green, silver embossed invitation by owl that morning. It was addressed to 'Master Severus Snape and Guest'. Harry might have become a fixture in the Slytherin common room, but he was obviously not well liked. He had even heard himself referred to as "the house traitor". Harry assumed it was due to the inter-house mixing that he had engaged in. Gryffindor and Slytherin still did not get on.

The invitation asked Severus to attend an audience with Lord Voldemort. Harry felt sick. So this was how Severus had first been welcomed into the death eaters. A party! Like it was someone's fucking _birthday_. And Severus had fallen for it.

He didn't know any better. There was no way he could have known about Voldemort's true personality, the cruelty and the darkness. There was no way he could foresee his future work as a spy, and what it would cost him. There was no way…

Except for Harry.

Should he tell Severus? How much would it change the future? Should he just let Severus go? But then he'd have to go too. He couldn't just refuse, not could he allow Severus to go alone.

Harry gave up on keeping up with Severus, who seemed in an awful hurry for some reason. The 'party' was tonight. A portkey had arrived with the invitation, set to seven o'clock. Detouring to the library, Harry sat down on one of the long benches, leaning his elbows on a random book. He sighed. Maybe he should go.

And then it hit him. This was it. This might be his only time to come into contact with Voldemort. He could try to kill the man who destroyed his family. And he could reverse the loss of a thousand lives.


	31. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Riddle house was filled with flickering light and atmospheric shadows when Harry and Severus portkeyed in with the rest of the Hogwarts students attending the party. Harry shivered slightly as Severus tucked the portkey into his pocket to be used later when they returned to Hogwarts. Although the House looked nothing like the dark, deserted place he remembered from his nightmares and his forth year of Hogwarts, it still brought unpleasant thoughts rushing into his head. He was glad for the solid, dependable presence of his lover at his back.

"Neville?" Severus placed one hand on Harry's shoulder. "What's wrong."

"Nothing," Harry said, taking a deep breath. "Lets go."

The hall of the Riddle House was filled to overflowing with chattering guests. Yet there was still a somewhat subdued atmosphere keeping the conversation from passing a quiet murmur. Severus glanced around.

"Not the most vibrant party I've ever seen," he said. Harry nodded, keeping watch over the shadowed corners, wherever Voldemort might hide.

"I wonder why," Severus continued. Harry made no reply. He knew exactly why the guests watched their words here. It was the power. It oozed from the walls of this place, wrapped its icy tendrils around the occupants of the room. They had no chance against their future master.

There was a rustle at the top of the sweeping staircase leading to the upper levels of the house, and a dark figure appeared at the top. Slowly descending the stairs, Lord Voldemort ensured that all eyes would remain on him.

A voice suddenly sounded behind Harry, causing him to jump violently even as his eyes remained fixed on his adversary.

"Incredible, isn't he? So powerful, so charismatic," Lucius Malfoy looked up towards his master with an expression of deep loyalty. Harry could see that Malfoy was already drawn deep into Voldemort's web of darkness. The grey eyes glittered in the dim candlelight and the perfectly brushed blond hair fell forward as Malfoy bend his head in submission.

Voldemort smiled as he stepped off down onto the highly polished stone floor. His black robe swept the ground, the velvet making a soft rasping sound across the stone. All around him, Harry could see heads bowing in servitude. It sickened him. That these blind fools would give in so easily to Voldemort's spell.

For it must have been an enchantment of some sort, that kept them coming back. Voldemort had no power yet, no fear or political connections to guide his path into Lordship. More and more heads were lowering all around Harry, although Harry knew many had never been here before, had never made vows of everlasting loyalty to the wizard before them.

Severus bowed his head, and Harry felt a sudden fierce flash of anger. So this was how Severus was drawn in! There was something more sinister here than a mere gathering of like-minded people. Magical brainwashing. Harry could feel it tugging at the corners of his own mind, as he tried desperately to resist.

SSHPSS

Voldemort turned slowly on the spot, observing his new servants. Once entrapped, they would not be able to get free. They would regret trying. A sinister smile spread over his thin, pale face. Many had not yet seen his punishments, but they would. Legilimency would work for now, but fear would suffice afterwards.

Then, from the corner of his eye, Voldemort spotted a figure unbent by the force of his mind. Turning his whole considerable skill towards forcing loyalty from this one insolent boy, Voldemort's hold weakened on the others. No matter, they already knew their duty.

SSHPSS

Harry struggled to hold onto his hate and anger. This monster had taken away everyone he loved; his parents, Sirius, and Severus. Proud Severus who bowed to the creature before him. Severus, who had once told Harry that a true wizard bowed to no one.

Voldemort stared hard into his eyes and Harry fought. Fought like he had not been able to do with Snape back in his own time. And finally, finally, the barriers came up and it was Voldemort's turn to struggle. Obviously sensing a loosing battle, Voldemort broke eye contact and drew out his wand.

Turning to the assembled witches and wizards, he announced in a cold, clear voice, "This is what happens to those who disobey me. I demand absolute loyalty. As soon as you entered this room, you accepted that, and I will not stand for anything less. See the consequences for yourself, and understand why you will obey me. _Conlabour Aetas_."

SSHPSS

Severus fought free of the constricting waves of magic enveloping his mind. Voldemort lost his tenuous grip on the mind of one of his many followers, unnoticing in his focus on Harry.

"Neville!" he yelled, shoving Harry out of the way. The shield spell ready in Harry's mind faded from his lips as Severus took his place before the curse. The blue light enveloped his lover and was absorbed into the tall body, leaving the young man staggering in its wake.

Translations  
_Conlabour Aetas _– Age until dead 


	32. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Harry watched in horror as his lover was enveloped in icy blue light. Before his eyes, Severus' face began to age, becoming slightly more angular. Lines deepened around his eyes and forehead, and his hair grew even longer. He lay motionless on the floor.

"You Bastard!" Harry shrieked, throwing himself at the tall man who stood laughing, sparks still flickering around the tip of his wand. Voldemort, obviously not expecting a physical attack, staggered and fell, his head smashing against the ancient stone floor. Blood oozed from beneath the collar of his robes and Harry backed away, feeling sick.

The Dark Lord's head was twisted at an unnatural angle and the red eyes were rolled back in his head, only the whites showing from beneath lowered lids. All around Harry, wizards were shaking their heads as the fog over their minds lifted, but Harry paid them no heed.

"Severus!" he gasped, dashing over to his lover's side. The body was too still.

"We have to get you out of here." Harry fumbled in Severus' pockets, withdrawing the portkey with a sigh of relief. Pulling out his wand and keeping a tight hold on Severus' wrist, he spoke the incantation and closed his eyes as they were whisked out of the room.

SSHPSS

They landed heavily outside the school gates. Harry gasped as his back hit the ground hard, then twisted around to check on Severus. He was still far too still. Harry pulled Severus' arm over his shoulders and tried his best to stand, but Severus was a dead weight against him. Much taller than Harry himself, Severus was impossible to carry alone. Harry pulled harder, desperate to get them both back to Hogwarts and into the infirmary. As he toppled once again, Harry bit back a sob. It was hopeless.

Distantly, he heard a high, musical sound. Looking up he saw Fawkes, newly burned, circling above him. The bird landed with a swish of golden feathers.

"Fawkes," Harry gasped, struggling for breath. "We have to get him to Madame Pomfrey."

Fawkes let out another high-pitched note and grasped the back Severus' black robe in his long claws. With a flapping of his great wings, the bird took off, carrying his precious burden. Not pausing to wonder at the fantastic strength of his pet, Harry stumbled to his feet and followed as quickly as he could.

SSHPSS

By the time he got to the infirmary, Severus had already aged to the point where Harry was startled to see his potions professor looking back at him. Fawkes was perched on the headboard of the bed, thick pearly tears falling silently from the bright, glittering eyes. Madame Pomfrey stood beside him, her wand spitting out a continuous stream of diagnostic spells. Finally, she drew back with a sigh.

"Is he alive?" Harry asked, hating the way his voice trembled, and how his eyes filled with tears.

"Yes," said Madame Pomfrey. "For now. The phoenix tears have slowed the ageing. The cells of Mr. Snape's body have been multiplying and ageing at a much faster rate then normal. It is almost like a cancer. The phoenix tears have been combating the process and attempting to regulate the rate at which the cells reproduce. Unfortunately, they can not seem to do it fast enough. If I can not find a cure within the next twenty-four hours, I am afraid he will die."

SSHPSS

Madame Pomfrey searched tirelessly for a way to reverse the ageing spell; Harry working right beside her, until they eventually had to give in.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter," she said. "There is no time left. Mr. Snape will die within the next hour."

Harry wiped his eyes discreetly with his sleeve.

"I suggest you get some sleep," Madame Pomfrey continued.

"** No**" Harry yelled. "No, I have to see him."

"Alright," Madame Pomfrey agreed. "I suppose it is only your right as his friend to be there with him."

Dabbing at her own eyes with a blue handkerchief she stood and led the way back through the castle.

SSHPSS

Harry sat down by Severus' bed, watching him. The thin chest rose and fell with shuddering, effortful breaths and Harry felt his own breaths catch in his throat. Severus' hair was white now, and his skin was as pale as the sheets strewn around him. As Harry watched, the eyes blinked slowly open, the only darkness left on a man who should have lived so much longer.

"Neville?" he croaked.

"Severus!" Harry seized the long fingers, his grip almost painful. "How do you feel?"

"Tired," Severus mumbled. "Very tired. Am I going to die?"

Harry hesitated. It was all the answer Severus needed.

"Love you, Neville," he whispered.

Harry let out a short, harsh sob. "Harry," he whispered back.

"What?" the dark eyes were becoming glazed and unfocused.

Harry took a deep breath. "My name is Harry."

"I see." The lips curved up slightly in a gentle smile. "I love you… Harry."

Harry threw his arms around the fragile body and hugged his lover as tightly as he dared. Shaking arms curled around his back, holding him gently against the cold body. Harry laid his head on Severus' chest and listened to every breath drawn in, and every one released, until finally a last breath escaped in a soft sigh.

Severus was gone.


	33. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Severus Snape watching in abject horror and confusion as his arm flickered and faded before his eyes. Over the past few hours, his possessions had begun to disappear. The mirror over the mantle he had bought at age eighteen. The death eater mask on the inside of his wardrobe. The silver cauldron that had been a gift from Albus to celebrate his tenth year teaching. Gone.

All over the world, the prospective owners of his possessions stored them away as if they had owned them for years.

The gold plaque on the professor's office door shimmered, and a new name scrawled itself on the suddenly clean surface. Professor Horace Slughorn once again took possession of the rooms. Robes twisted and morphed on their hangers, until they were garments never owned by Severus Snape.

And the man himself faded as if he had never been.

SSHPSS

Harry raised his tear-streaked cheeks from the duvet at the gentle shake to his shoulder.

"There's nothing more you can do, dear. Go and get some rest," Madame Pomfrey advised kindly. Dazed, shattered, Harry acquiesced and walked unseeingly from the room.

The Slytherin dorms were filled with the soft snores of Harry's room-mates, but the whole place seemed eerily quiet without Severus' soft snores. There were no books lying on his beside table, no trunk at the foot of his bed. The house-elves had already taken care of it all.

Harry lay down on the cold sheets and stared up at the ceiling. No arms wrapped around his waist. No long black hair fell over his shoulder, getting in his face. No voice wished him happy dreams.

There would be no happy dreams tonight.

The window shutters gaped open and a red bird swooped through to land on the empty bed. It sang mournfully into the night.

SSHPSS

Harry woke the next morning with eyes sore and rimmed in red. The others had already gone down to breakfast. Harry felt sick at the thought of food, but knew he would have to see Dumbledore. So he dressed with clumsy fingers and stumbled up the many corridors to the great hall.

Dumbledore was making an announcement when he went in.

"I am sorry to say that Severus Snape, Slytherin sixth year, died last night in the infirmary. He was cursed by a dark wizard named Voldemort, whom only some of you will have heard. Voldemort also died that night, thanks to the heroic efforts of one student." Dumbledore's kind gaze turned towards Harry, but he did not give any names. "Severus was a good student and a better friend to those who looked for it. He shall be sorely missed."

The school sat in silence for a moment, some shocked, some merely respectful. Then the noise level gradually rose again to the excited chatter of schoolchildren with gossip and rumour. Harry sat down silently at the end of the Slytherin table.

"Who killed him?"

"We'll get that idiot kid!"

"What was Snape doing anyway, to get himself killed?"

The whispers hurried up and down the table like a flock of crows around a carcass. Harry bowed his head, pushed away his toast and left.

SSHPSS

Back in the dorm, Harry rummaged around in his trunk. Pushing aside his transfiguration notes, he pulled out the precious bottle of potion Severus had given him at Christmas. The blue liquid swirled and sloshed as if in slow motion as Harry lifted it reverently. There was nothing keeping him here now. Voldemort was dead, Severus was dead, his parents were engrossed in their little romance. He might as well return to Ron and Hermione, and put this whole experience behind him. Glancing at the mirror against the wall, Harry sighed and then froze.

He stood slowly and moved forward. His scar was gone! But why…?

Of course. Voldemort had never lived long enough to give him the scar. Joy filled Harry. He was free! He spun in a quick circle, and stopped facing Severus' bed. Was it worth it? Harry didn't know. He wouldn't know until he was home, and there was no way to take it back now anyway.

SSHPSS

"Professor Dumbledore?"

"Yes, yes, come in, dear boy," Dumbledore's face was sad and lined. "These are terrible times for us all at the school, but I hope you will accept my condolences. I know how close you were to Mr. Snape."

Harry swallowed back a lump. He could never know… Clearing his throat, he thrust forward the phoenix perched on his right arm.

"Here, sir. I'm leaving. I think you should look after Fawkes until I get back."

"Dear boy, I'm sure there are others better suited-"

"No, sir," Harry interrupted. He smiled softly. "It was meant to be."

"I see." Dumbledore nodded gravely, but the twinkle was beginning to return to his eye. "In that case, I would be delighted to accept your pet. Fawkes, was it?"

Harry nodded and the phoenix fluttered over to perch on Dumbledore's chair, just as he always had.

"I have to go now, sir. I have some… some goodbyes to make and then I should be on my way."

"Alright. And Harry?" Harry turned. "Did you accomplish what you set out to do?"

Harry smiled sadly "I'm not sure anymore."


	34. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

"Hey!" Sirius sat up on the grass and waved energetically at Harry. "Neville, old buddy, old pal, where've you been?"

Remus abandoned his defence textbook to peer concernedly at Harry. "You look terrible. Are you alright?"

"I suppose. Look, guys," Harry hesitated. How to explain? "I have to… leave."

"Leave?" James too heaved himself into a sitting position.

"Yeah," Harry rubbed a hand tiredly over his face. It felt as if he hadn't slept in weeks.

"I just… Yeah."

Remus put an arm around Harry's shoulders. "I know it must be difficult, with Severus gone," he said quietly. "But you can't run away from this, Neville."

"It's not that," Harry replied._It is, it is…_ "I've been meaning to leave for a while now. It just took longer than I thought."

Remus patted him once on the back and then moved away. Standing, James held out his hand formally, just like their first meeting on the train.

"I take it this is goodbye then," he said. Harry took his hand, grateful that someone had said it. "Good luck, Neville. I hope you're happy, wherever you're going. I'm just sorry we weren't friends sooner."

Harry smiled. "I think we were."

He said his goodbyes to Remus and Peter, who had stayed sitting in the shadows by the trees. Sirius shuffled awkwardly through his speech on friends-forever, and we'll-meet-again-someday. Harry had to smile.

Another group of friends lost. But hopefully not for long. As he walked away, he turned back with a sudden thought.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Just marry Lily, alright. It's important."

James looked shocked for a minute, then grinned and nodded. Harry left them there, a happy group that could retain their innocence for just a little longer, now. It was time to go home.

SSHPSS

The Slytherin dorms were uncharacteristically quiet as Harry gathered the few things he wanted to take home. Scrabbling around in the bottom of his trunk, he was startled by a sudden pop.

"Mr. Potter, sir?"

"Yes?"

The little green creature bounced nervously on it's heels.

"I is Binly, sir. I is helping Mrs. Snape go through her son's things, sir."

Harry's throat went tight at this, and his eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"We founds this, sir."

The diminutive elf held out a small, round parcel. Wrapped in shimmering black paper with a thin silver ribbon, the box was the epitome of Severus' possessions. Minimalist and… well, black. The small tag revealed 'Happy Birthday, Neville' scrawled in familiar spiky letters.

Harry looked back towards the elf. "Thank you," he said. "I'll open it later." _Alone_ .

The elf nodded. "Yes, Mr. Potter." He disappeared with an ear-splitting crack.

SSHPSS

Harry tugged gently on the ribbon holding together the paper. It unravelled easily and curled on the floor, hissing like a serpent. Harry smiled. There was house pride in every inch of this gift, obviously. The ribbon wriggled away.

The unfolded paper yielded a round box, again black, with gold edging. Harry opened it and smiled.

A chain. Silver, it's clasp formed from the twined tails of two delicately detailed snakes. The eyes of one glowed with green gems and the eyes of the other shone black. A small piece of paper fluttered out the lid.

_Now we'll always be together._

Harry shut the box.

SSHPSS

Harry decided to use the chain. He knew the potion would be perfect, Severus made it after all and so could cause no harm to his gift. It seemed somehow fitting that the two things given to him by Severus were the things to bring him home. That his return was exclusively Severus' doing.

So he poured the potion carefully over the chain, watching as the liquid was slowly absorbed into the shining silver. He slipped the bag with his few memories contained inside over his head, and waited.

As the Marauders entered the castle again, and Fawkes swooped from his tower window to soar over the battlements, Neville Potter flickered and disappeared.


	35. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Harry collapsed with a thump on the bed that once was Severus'. He sat up, looking around him, then stood and made his way down to the common room. Was he back? Had it worked?

His question was answered by Blaise Zabini, who rushed past him on his way to the dorms, unnoticing of the boy dressed in Slytherin robes just like his. Harry was careful not to be seen after that, but the common room was empty. Glancing at the clock, he saw that most of the school would still be at lunch.

Harry stopped in the corridor, unsure of what to do next. Then he made his way up to Dumbledore's office. "Sherbet Lemon?" he asked the guardian. The statue scowled at him. "Chocolate Frog? Everlasting Gobstone? Ice Mice?"

"Chocolate Orange," Dumbledore said behind him. The door swung open before them. Dumbledore ushered Harry on to the staircase. "What can I do for you, Harry?"

"Well, Sir," Harry said, uncertain. "I've come back."

"From where, dear boy?"

Harry sat down in the chair indicated by a long, wrinkled hand, confused. Where?

"I've come back from the past, Sir. Didn't Ron and Hermione tell you?"

"I wasn't aware that you were such good friends with Miss Granger, Harry. Did she help you."

"Yes," Harry said, trying to sort through this new information. "Yes, she did."

"Well, Harry. I expect, since you are back, that you will want your phoenix back?"

Fawkes let out an excited string of notes and swooped over, landing on Harry's shoulder and tugging affectionately at his hair. Harry laughed. "Hello," he said, running a hand over the bird's bright feathers. "Thank you for looking after him, Sir."

"Oh, it was my pleasure, my pleasure," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. "I believe Fawkes is glad to have you back. It's been almost twenty years since you left him with me."

"I know. Sir, I…What has changed?"

"What do you mean, Harry?"

"Well, when I left here I was best friends with Ron and Hermione. Snape was the potions teacher, although I know he can't be still, since he…" Harry choked back a few angry tears, wondering if the pain would ever go away. He felt Dumbledore's hand land compassionately on his shoulder, and knew the old man was also remembering the death of his student. Harry picked up where he left off. "My parents were dead, I don't know if they are still, and I was a Gryffindor."

"Well, let's see," Dumbledore said, sitting down behind his desk and gazing idly at a whirring silver thing with long spindly arms. "You are still a Gryffindor, Harry. Your best friend is still Ron Weasley, although I am sad to say you have never got along with Miss Granger. Out Potions Professor… Professor Genero. And yes, your parents are still alive."

"What about Sirius and Remus?" Harry asked as an afterthought.

"Yes, they too are still with us. Peter Pettigrew, however, was sent to Azkaban after the dark mark was found on his arm."

Harry nodded.

"Perhaps you would like to see your parents, Harry?"

Harry nodded thankfully.

SSHPSS

"Oh, honey, are you all right?" Lily Potter stepped easily out of the fireplace and enveloped Harry in a hug.

"I guess so," Harry mumbled against her pink blouse. It was so nice to see his mother like this, as family. Over her shoulder, Harry saw James Potter step out of the fireplace, having a quick word with Dumbledore.

"All right, Son? What's wrong?"

Harry just shook his head, overwhelmed by it all. Lily and James shared a look. "Perhaps we'd better take him home," Lily said. "The school breaks up for summer tomorrow anyway."

James nodded thoughtfully, then started. "Harry! Why are you wearing Slytherin robes?"

"He can tell you all that at home," Dumbledore cut in, seeing Harry's discomfort at the thought of explaining the whole exhausting ordeal so quickly.

"Yes, yes, of course," Lily said. "Come on now and we'll get you home."

"Are you sure he's alright?" James asked Dumbledore as his son and wife flooed out.

"He's been through a tremendous challenge, if memory serves," Dumbledore replied, "And he has faced some terrible decisions. I am sure, however, that he can work through it with the help of his family, now that he has them back."

James nodded.

"Yes, of course. I need to get home now, anyway. It's a full moon tonight."

Dumbledore smiled. "Say hello to Remus for me."

James smiled back. "He's always glad to hear from you."

He followed his family home.

SSHPSS

As soon as Harry emerged from the floo, he was enveloped in a wave of black fur.

"Padfoot, get off him," Lily scolded. Sirius panted unrepentantly. Harry laughed. "Hello, Sirius."

"Hello, pup," The newly transformed Sirius ruffled his hair. "What are you doing back so early?"

"I just…"

"Let the poor boy settle down first, Sirius," Remus Lupin said, emerging from a door with a cup of tea in one hand.

Harry gazed around the room. So this was Godric's Hollow? The walls were painted a sunny yellow, and a cauldron steamed over the fireplace. Family pictures covered the walls, and the fireplace was made of worn grey stone. A thick rug covered the wooden floors, and Harry could almost see Padfoot curled up there at night. A small coffee table sat before a worn blue sofa, paper scattered haphazardly around both. Hedwig fluttered down at him from the rafters.

"Hedwig!" Harry called out in delight. Fawkes ruffled his feathers irritably. The snowy owl landed on his other shoulder.

"Remember when you got her?" Lily smiled. "Hagrid always had a soft spot for you. He just couldn't resist; you or her!" She shook her head in exasperation.

"Hagrid gave her to me?" Harry asked, pleased that the half giant was still apparently a friend.

"Of course. Harry, I think you'd better sit down and explain all this to us. It's like you don't remember anything about us." James looked very serious.

The marauders gathered on the couch and looked expectantly at Harry, as Lily fussed about, getting Harry a glass of pumpkin juice and settling him on the couch as if he had lived there all his life. Like he should have.

"So, Harry, what's been going on?"

So Harry began to tell them.

SSHPSS

Harry felt much better after getting the story out. James had briefly flooed Dumbledore to check it was true, then had a short fit ("My son was shagging _Snape_?") but then settled down and thought rationally again. The break passed, and Harry returned to school in his Gryffindor robes. He met Ron, and made friends again with Hermione, much to the disgust of his redheaded friend. And life returned to some semblance of normality.

It still hurt to see another man standing at the front of the potions classroom, and it was still strange to casually mention 'Professor Snape' in conversation and have his friends ask "Who?", but the feelings passed. It didn't do to dwell on the past.

But Harry still kept the stained vial in the bottom of his trunk, and he still wore the silver chain around his neck. Because nothing could part them now. Not really.

**Finis**

**Author Note:** There is an SS/HP sequel in progress. I don't know when it will be finished, but keep an eye out for it if you liked this and want to see a happy-ish ending. Thank you to everyone who kept reading, your support meant a lot to me. Thank you.


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